So.
The new year is rapidly approaching. Happy New Years Japan!
Lots of things i need to do in the new year. A lot of them will get done, albeit sloooowly.
First and foremost i need to re-establish the dietary regimen i`ve made for myself. Its really rather simple :
Breakfast : One glass (150ml) pink grapefruitjuice, breakfast cereal (Rapunzel 100g, 1 shredded apple, 100ml Goji berry juice, 150g greek yoghurt).
Lunch : 4 slices of bread (Martin`s Grove) w/ one can of sardines (alternately Olive oil, balsamico, and chipotle sauce.) One carrot, one banana.
Pre exercise (approx. 1630 hours) 200 ml fish soup, one fish cake.
Dinner : Situational, vegetables, fish, rice, potatoes, pasta. Otherwise what is being served.
After dinner : One piece of Mulu Raw Chocolate (Dark), one cup of hot cocoa.
Evening meal : 200 ml milk, 150 ml tomato juice, 2 slices of bread, 1 w caviar & mayonnaise, 1/2 w herring (various makes), 1/2 w jam (preferably ginger/apple).
Optional (afternoon) : 250 ml of ginger (fresh, shredded) tea, 1 non-alcohol beer.
This seems to me to be close to an optimal, enjoyable diet. And i like establishing reliable patterns of consumption!
Other than that i have to figure out if alternating going to the gym one day and swimming the other is too much of a strain on my body. It seems to me that it might leave me too exhausted to never have any days for recuperation. We shall see.
Other than that optimal sleep in point remains fixed at 2150 hours, and optimal wake-up point would be 0400 to 0500 hours. Though i find it difficult to mount the enthusiasm required for awakening that early. (I think this can be remedied by having an activity prepared the previous evening, but i am at a loss at to what would be sufficiently enticing.....hmm, maybe porn, yeah, not a bad idea really.... we shall see, at least to get the pattern established.)
so, i have a new iPod ready, which means i can read on my way to work. I will probably churn through the bible, just to have that book under my belt. I might optionally do lecture series, but i want to read the bible, so i`ll save lectures for the gym and times when i`m wandering in the city on errands and in transit.
I have also gotten myself a voice recorder. This will simplify expressing myself when i am in pre-sleep and post-sleep modes. I have until now found the idea of writing in pre-sleep phases annoying, since it means finding pen and paper and opening my eyes. Just pressing a button and then speaking my mind seems more beneficial/accessible. This will also make it easy to recount my dream experiences immediately after having endured them, this will surely be a boon. With a text-to-speech program i will be able to get these musings and recollections in print and analyed as soon as possible. This will be entertaining, though i will have to keep those streams in a separate blog.
Other than that i will continue to try (and fail horribly) at both my linux from scratch and my The Elements of Computing Systems project. I`ve failed here before and will do so again, though i have always learned something along the way. These projects will eat what time i have left, and i would like for that time not to be disturbed by others, since they are important to me.... (As brainwashed by Serial Experiments Lain that i am!)
What else will happen in 2012? Well, the world will continue on its merry way to heaven/hell as speedily as possible, consumption will remain safely in the driver seat, and i`m willing to admit my guilty complicity in that travesty.
Well, i might launch project Entryism 2012. I would like to get a closer look at some of the political structures in this nation, and i`ll probably mount the enthusiasm to do that in January. It should be interesting, and we`ll see what we can get it to lead to in understanding and capacity for support of aspects of the world i hold dear. So i`ll see what insight into those structures one gets as a member, fun times!
This year it seems as if i`ll be able to afford the expenses incurred regarding general maintenance of my trike, which means that it`ll see the light to a greater extent than in the year that has passed. This will be super cool, especially if i get a remote control helicopter and a first person view camera to explere the surroundings when i need a break from the biking. FPV gear is starting to become affordable, so we`ll see where that leads. I`ll also need a functional way to recharge batteries and such whilst in transit, though something can probably be arranged at some rest stops.
Other than that i am in want of a kayak, but do not consider it to be a priority to afford myself one this year. I will, if i can, but i won`t be troubled if i don`t.
I NEED TO READ MORE BOOKS!
SEriously, i just Re-discovered Sonic Warfare, which has been on my to-do list forever, i need to get at it, preferably soon.
The what?! Yes.
Newest in new.
Brrrrrr. It`s a cold world outside.
Who me? Worried?
Yes.
--------
Anything else i need to note? No drinking unless i happen to be on a date. New boots for better hiking. (Not that i`m a fan of hiking alone, i can always hope.)
So. I just bought Common`s latest album on the idea that it might not be crap. It was. Too bad. Me wants the Electric Circus back, but it`s too late for that.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
mIndBM
Sooooo. My semi-wake mental landscapes this morning involved, among other things, a HUGE ASS IBM LOGO. this does not in any way surprise me, though the ins and outs of the experience can be defined further later on.
Yesterdaaaay.
Wondering aloud, how we feel today. Quite bored. Fair enough, there`s a limit to my enthusiasm for conversation about parenting and the actions of kids in my life.
So granted, an interesting christmas. Though nothing of particular to note. The latest anonymous was quite interesting, nice videos, and the article on current social malaises was quite intelligent and just my brand of disillusioned bitterness at the lies of cultural expression. Though that doesn`t really translate for me into much in the way of actionable understanding. Which it really in`t supposed to. Or maybe it is, though it`ll take more than a well worded rant to re-illusionize me... And that is the problem though, the greatest re-illusionizer is as always inclusion, not truth. The wonderful world of soloists like me is frailer then i at times admit, though i am more honest about it then some.
So, the wonderful experience of inclusion and participation, and it`s coercive capacity relative to elaboration and analysis. Analysis is my favourite, it always has been, but i can`t by any reasonable measure consider myself an able wielder of. (Who am i kidding, i`ve analyzed further then most, mhich makes me acutely aware of the limitations of analysis outside of sanctioned, structured activity.
Oh crap, temporarily relocated to solipsistic drone-mode. Fair enough place if i use the right words.
Speaking of words, the excerpt in december`s Harper`s from the novel dealing with the plague of expression was a real treat. THough i am somewhat annoyed at my manner of enjoying the negative maximal on watching ones kids learn the art of expressing themselves and fawning over them every step of the way. If i had a moral fibre in my body i`d just withdraw myself from that entire scene instead of taking such joys at the inverse maximals to what i have to present every day. Oh well, it ends up as my edition of "the Office" somehow. Though that might be not the aptest of comparisons.
The unexamined life.... Bah, humbug. Nah, not really. If i hadn`t examined my life as thoroughly as i do i`d really consider it stillborn. And as it is now i consider my life to be at its most interesting point yet! Too bad there has to be this level of socioeconomic malaise for me to think that life really is getting interesting. (This is not technically true, it`s not the malaise, but my general improvement over the past years which afford me these joys, but seeing some of the illusions of society collapse and fling its rubble in all directions heedless of any person unfortunate enough to be in its vincinity has its cruel charms.)
Lifestyleeeeees of the rich and the famooooooous. THey`re always complaaaaaaaining.
Frog X-ing. Splat. Sph`Lat
And now back to normal. There can be quite the opportunity to get something done as soon as this social representation season comes to an end.
There will be enjoyment.
Food and kids. Gaaaaaaaaaah. Mind if i relocate to somewhere i don`t have to listen to this prattle? Prattle is still a remarkable word. i absolutely adore it. ANd now, dolls!
Of guys and dolls on broadway indeed!
THings temporarily livened up later, and it ain`t all bad.
So granted, an interesting christmas. Though nothing of particular to note. The latest anonymous was quite interesting, nice videos, and the article on current social malaises was quite intelligent and just my brand of disillusioned bitterness at the lies of cultural expression. Though that doesn`t really translate for me into much in the way of actionable understanding. Which it really in`t supposed to. Or maybe it is, though it`ll take more than a well worded rant to re-illusionize me... And that is the problem though, the greatest re-illusionizer is as always inclusion, not truth. The wonderful world of soloists like me is frailer then i at times admit, though i am more honest about it then some.
So, the wonderful experience of inclusion and participation, and it`s coercive capacity relative to elaboration and analysis. Analysis is my favourite, it always has been, but i can`t by any reasonable measure consider myself an able wielder of. (Who am i kidding, i`ve analyzed further then most, mhich makes me acutely aware of the limitations of analysis outside of sanctioned, structured activity.
Oh crap, temporarily relocated to solipsistic drone-mode. Fair enough place if i use the right words.
Speaking of words, the excerpt in december`s Harper`s from the novel dealing with the plague of expression was a real treat. THough i am somewhat annoyed at my manner of enjoying the negative maximal on watching ones kids learn the art of expressing themselves and fawning over them every step of the way. If i had a moral fibre in my body i`d just withdraw myself from that entire scene instead of taking such joys at the inverse maximals to what i have to present every day. Oh well, it ends up as my edition of "the Office" somehow. Though that might be not the aptest of comparisons.
The unexamined life.... Bah, humbug. Nah, not really. If i hadn`t examined my life as thoroughly as i do i`d really consider it stillborn. And as it is now i consider my life to be at its most interesting point yet! Too bad there has to be this level of socioeconomic malaise for me to think that life really is getting interesting. (This is not technically true, it`s not the malaise, but my general improvement over the past years which afford me these joys, but seeing some of the illusions of society collapse and fling its rubble in all directions heedless of any person unfortunate enough to be in its vincinity has its cruel charms.)
Lifestyleeeeees of the rich and the famooooooous. THey`re always complaaaaaaaining.
Frog X-ing. Splat. Sph`Lat
And now back to normal. There can be quite the opportunity to get something done as soon as this social representation season comes to an end.
There will be enjoyment.
Food and kids. Gaaaaaaaaaah. Mind if i relocate to somewhere i don`t have to listen to this prattle? Prattle is still a remarkable word. i absolutely adore it. ANd now, dolls!
Of guys and dolls on broadway indeed!
THings temporarily livened up later, and it ain`t all bad.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Dept. of dreams.
So.
According to the department of justice the next course i should take is the go-kart course. Oh well, i never wanted to be a fighter pilot.
Hands up everyone who are slightly worried about the current legal framework concerning non-consensual experiments on humans in the USA.
Who, me? Worry? Foxfire down, and on and on and on and on.
According to the department of justice the next course i should take is the go-kart course. Oh well, i never wanted to be a fighter pilot.
Hands up everyone who are slightly worried about the current legal framework concerning non-consensual experiments on humans in the USA.
Who, me? Worry? Foxfire down, and on and on and on and on.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Choo Choo
Sitting silently for now. We`ll see, a slight sound distortion on the headphone commute mix i`m currently starting. It`s nice to get to toy around with Vim, even though i just go straight to insert-mode here in windows. It`s really just expression for now, not text manipulation. And that is good.
I need to access my bookmarks on a larger screen so that i can organize them. It`s a cumbersome collection laden with little treasures i should take care to revisit later on.
As it seems now Ì`ll make it through the entire Headphone Commute and Kahvi catalogue by the end of the year. This will be adequate. After that i -should- listen to funk or classical to get the tempo rising, but i might end up running through the laverna archives. Those should be interesting and i was disorganized the last time i perused them, so a rerun will be in order.
I should also drop by musictrade and say hi. I miss those, they were really nice at times. What i`ll do after that is open. I have a list of labels i haven`t visited yet, and i should try something new!
Trainrides are nice for getting work done, that is true, and for random ramblings. Now what should i weave my expression around? It would perhaps be wise to figure out how i am going to handle being awash with money. Well humpty doo. I should stop thinking about that, it`s not going to do me much good anyhow. Granted, maybe i should focus on how long i`m likely to draw out my stay in Sandviken.
No, it`s time to remind myself that i need to draw! I really really really need to get some pieces of paper and some pencils and some basic entertaining shapes to copy. That shouldn`t prove too difficult. Note to self, find books with easily copiable figures for the amusement of kids. I should improve some of my work-related skills in my spare time, and there is a lot of drawing in kindergardens, so to make that even more entertaining by conjuring up familiar and exciting shapes would be smart.
Back to Sandviken. I guess that i, as long as i am away in my periods of idleness, can easily stretch it out for another six months if i really want to. Which, as the indulgent git i am, i kind of do. I have so many things i need in order to build the platform for further inquiry and upkeep as to make me annoyed at the prospect of shelling out 4-5 thousand kroner a month to somebody willing to participate in the ludicrous building-price bonanza for personal gain. And from april or so i can probably start living in a tent. May and June`ll go by in a jif, and i intend to spend most of june and july triking and kayaking, so not having city living expenses then would just be neat.
In other news i now need a haircut. In news beyond that again, i need a swim. Beyond that, i need a bath. And some books. I`d really like to do a classic book and bath seance whilst i`m at Tysnes. Pick up Pohl`s Gateway Trips or something equally cozy. That would make my day. Which reminds me that i have to repurchase those volumes of Campbell`s mythology-works i`ve lost over the years!!!
This Headphone Commute mix is starting to get better. And i like the idea of logging everything with multiple Twitter-accounts. I`ll try that for a while. An easy way to not clutter up any of my other projects, and i won`t have to bother with the time and date stamps myself!
I need to access my bookmarks on a larger screen so that i can organize them. It`s a cumbersome collection laden with little treasures i should take care to revisit later on.
As it seems now Ì`ll make it through the entire Headphone Commute and Kahvi catalogue by the end of the year. This will be adequate. After that i -should- listen to funk or classical to get the tempo rising, but i might end up running through the laverna archives. Those should be interesting and i was disorganized the last time i perused them, so a rerun will be in order.
I should also drop by musictrade and say hi. I miss those, they were really nice at times. What i`ll do after that is open. I have a list of labels i haven`t visited yet, and i should try something new!
Trainrides are nice for getting work done, that is true, and for random ramblings. Now what should i weave my expression around? It would perhaps be wise to figure out how i am going to handle being awash with money. Well humpty doo. I should stop thinking about that, it`s not going to do me much good anyhow. Granted, maybe i should focus on how long i`m likely to draw out my stay in Sandviken.
No, it`s time to remind myself that i need to draw! I really really really need to get some pieces of paper and some pencils and some basic entertaining shapes to copy. That shouldn`t prove too difficult. Note to self, find books with easily copiable figures for the amusement of kids. I should improve some of my work-related skills in my spare time, and there is a lot of drawing in kindergardens, so to make that even more entertaining by conjuring up familiar and exciting shapes would be smart.
Back to Sandviken. I guess that i, as long as i am away in my periods of idleness, can easily stretch it out for another six months if i really want to. Which, as the indulgent git i am, i kind of do. I have so many things i need in order to build the platform for further inquiry and upkeep as to make me annoyed at the prospect of shelling out 4-5 thousand kroner a month to somebody willing to participate in the ludicrous building-price bonanza for personal gain. And from april or so i can probably start living in a tent. May and June`ll go by in a jif, and i intend to spend most of june and july triking and kayaking, so not having city living expenses then would just be neat.
In other news i now need a haircut. In news beyond that again, i need a swim. Beyond that, i need a bath. And some books. I`d really like to do a classic book and bath seance whilst i`m at Tysnes. Pick up Pohl`s Gateway Trips or something equally cozy. That would make my day. Which reminds me that i have to repurchase those volumes of Campbell`s mythology-works i`ve lost over the years!!!
This Headphone Commute mix is starting to get better. And i like the idea of logging everything with multiple Twitter-accounts. I`ll try that for a while. An easy way to not clutter up any of my other projects, and i won`t have to bother with the time and date stamps myself!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Trees (are dying)
Information is more concealed.
Wrong type of trees. So, today was spent on genealogy-trees, babysitting (whilst on vacation, YAY!), traveling (soon), figuring out how to get the ipod i "need", some random news and too much coffee.
The only weird aspect of note is that i think i listened to the some Headphone Commute mix i`m listenini to now the last time i was here. Feels strange. Especially since it wasn`t picked, but just next in line to be listened to. (I`m doing all their mixes in chronological order.
Oh, and some back and forth with f-secure tech support, all in good spirits.
And i`ve downloaded some Harvey if worst comes to worst on tonight`s train ride.
Wrong type of trees. So, today was spent on genealogy-trees, babysitting (whilst on vacation, YAY!), traveling (soon), figuring out how to get the ipod i "need", some random news and too much coffee.
The only weird aspect of note is that i think i listened to the some Headphone Commute mix i`m listenini to now the last time i was here. Feels strange. Especially since it wasn`t picked, but just next in line to be listened to. (I`m doing all their mixes in chronological order.
Oh, and some back and forth with f-secure tech support, all in good spirits.
And i`ve downloaded some Harvey if worst comes to worst on tonight`s train ride.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Memories.
Just remembered.
At least this feels much better than the moodiness expressed during last years december-posts. PHEW!
At least this feels much better than the moodiness expressed during last years december-posts. PHEW!
Quantas
So, that`s why you should always try to travel with Quantas.
Anyway, that nosy Rycker is at it again. Just as well.
Lazybones is in effect now. Today has been about nothing, which, considering that i am currently living with thi Seinfeld-fans of the family, seems fitting! But hey, i can live with that. The good news is that i`ve got at least two months of work lined up next year, and in the best kindergarden i`ve visited thus far as well! Super duper. So, i am in the enviable, but troublesome, position, of actually starting to make money whilst the economic outlook for ever more people seem bleak. Kind of an "ooops" that, especially since i have a hard time not indulgently enjoying actually making money.
Oh well, at least now my use of money revolves around upkeep and infrastructure-investments and not self-destructive indulgence. So there is hope. Establishing positive feedback loops with my money is an interesting sport. I have so many interesting and important things i need to acquire and support as to make it difficult to manage.
But that`s fun. It`s on hold until i get my next paycheck, but after that it`s post-christmas bonanza time! YAY!
And then i`ll probably spend it on silly stuff. Like Dresden Codak t-shirts. But seriously, i`ve been drooling over those for a while. The Cyborg Pride pattern is tres chic!
Besides, the machine messiah and me go way back. FCCCP!
So. A day without any form of ability-advancement whatsoever. Shame on me! I did bake some fine christmas cookies though. And made something more -suspicious- involving wheat puffs and marshmallows. Complemented by reading about CIAs desperate Iranian recruitment tactics , the inanity of the german pirate party, and oppression in Kazakhstan. Also known as the We Agree solution.
So that sums it up. I`ll have to be back at work on the sixth of january, so until then i intend to do exactly what i want for a while. (As soon as this christmas business is taken care of.) Which won`t be long.
DEAR GOD 2012 IS GONNA BE AWESOME! It is, in a horribly optimistic dystopian kind of way. I don`t know about you lot, but i`ve never seen reality like this before and it`s excruciatingly exciting. And i`m used to my brain being that, so it`s all right.
So, anyway, according to IBMs 5 in 5 spam will be personalized to a degree that makes it useful (personalization, ooooh i love that topic, and pseudo-personlization.) Sometimes the trick is knowing which commonalities we stubbornly believe are unique to us, but yeah, if anybody could explain the (pseudo)-individualization of narrational patterns to me then i`d, as always be much obliged! Laughing it off by climing to be a weird offshoot of everybody`s favourite California syncronists just won`t suffice any more.
(SERIOSLY, research it yourself, you oaf! Re-read Strogatz` "Sync" and pour through the footnotes and references!)
But the other one. Yeah. Mind control of computing devices. Honeypot of the century. Well, i did go for that option in the original Deus Ex, so i guess i had it coming. So, we`re all running arund pretending that such tech would be controllable. But then again, consumers aren`t meant to control such tech, only consume it. So fun it`ll be. (Until we discover how insecure it`ll be.) Bruce Sterlings speech to the Dutch AR-crowd comes to mind. So does the past six years of mental experiences. Oh well, at least i`m somewhat prepared for the negative outliers there.
And now all i have to do is keep my recmbent-tricycle Akira-like project a secret for the next five years and things`ll really start to flare up. Everybody expects bike-gangs in Tokyo, nobody expects norwegian recumbent tricycle gangs, that`s just a fact. (And people wonder how i manage to be so excited and intrigued by the world!)
So, anyway, let`s get out there and get smarter than we were yesterday.
Tomorrow i`m gonna be dumber than i`ll be the day after tomorrow.
Anyway, that nosy Rycker is at it again. Just as well.
Lazybones is in effect now. Today has been about nothing, which, considering that i am currently living with thi Seinfeld-fans of the family, seems fitting! But hey, i can live with that. The good news is that i`ve got at least two months of work lined up next year, and in the best kindergarden i`ve visited thus far as well! Super duper. So, i am in the enviable, but troublesome, position, of actually starting to make money whilst the economic outlook for ever more people seem bleak. Kind of an "ooops" that, especially since i have a hard time not indulgently enjoying actually making money.
Oh well, at least now my use of money revolves around upkeep and infrastructure-investments and not self-destructive indulgence. So there is hope. Establishing positive feedback loops with my money is an interesting sport. I have so many interesting and important things i need to acquire and support as to make it difficult to manage.
But that`s fun. It`s on hold until i get my next paycheck, but after that it`s post-christmas bonanza time! YAY!
And then i`ll probably spend it on silly stuff. Like Dresden Codak t-shirts. But seriously, i`ve been drooling over those for a while. The Cyborg Pride pattern is tres chic!
Besides, the machine messiah and me go way back. FCCCP!
So. A day without any form of ability-advancement whatsoever. Shame on me! I did bake some fine christmas cookies though. And made something more -suspicious- involving wheat puffs and marshmallows. Complemented by reading about CIAs desperate Iranian recruitment tactics , the inanity of the german pirate party, and oppression in Kazakhstan. Also known as the We Agree solution.
So that sums it up. I`ll have to be back at work on the sixth of january, so until then i intend to do exactly what i want for a while. (As soon as this christmas business is taken care of.) Which won`t be long.
DEAR GOD 2012 IS GONNA BE AWESOME! It is, in a horribly optimistic dystopian kind of way. I don`t know about you lot, but i`ve never seen reality like this before and it`s excruciatingly exciting. And i`m used to my brain being that, so it`s all right.
So, anyway, according to IBMs 5 in 5 spam will be personalized to a degree that makes it useful (personalization, ooooh i love that topic, and pseudo-personlization.) Sometimes the trick is knowing which commonalities we stubbornly believe are unique to us, but yeah, if anybody could explain the (pseudo)-individualization of narrational patterns to me then i`d, as always be much obliged! Laughing it off by climing to be a weird offshoot of everybody`s favourite California syncronists just won`t suffice any more.
(SERIOSLY, research it yourself, you oaf! Re-read Strogatz` "Sync" and pour through the footnotes and references!)
But the other one. Yeah. Mind control of computing devices. Honeypot of the century. Well, i did go for that option in the original Deus Ex, so i guess i had it coming. So, we`re all running arund pretending that such tech would be controllable. But then again, consumers aren`t meant to control such tech, only consume it. So fun it`ll be. (Until we discover how insecure it`ll be.) Bruce Sterlings speech to the Dutch AR-crowd comes to mind. So does the past six years of mental experiences. Oh well, at least i`m somewhat prepared for the negative outliers there.
And now all i have to do is keep my recmbent-tricycle Akira-like project a secret for the next five years and things`ll really start to flare up. Everybody expects bike-gangs in Tokyo, nobody expects norwegian recumbent tricycle gangs, that`s just a fact. (And people wonder how i manage to be so excited and intrigued by the world!)
So, anyway, let`s get out there and get smarter than we were yesterday.
Tomorrow i`m gonna be dumber than i`ll be the day after tomorrow.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Silent.
So, today was a glacier. I haven`t had a day which unfolded as a glacier in some time, so that was incredibly beneficial. Unfortunately i had some *gasp* COFFEE today (the horror) so i`ve been somewhat wobbly. It`s quite dreadful to notice how debilitating a drug coffee really is. (But it`s also jolly good fun to slag coffee-drinkers!)
So a day in front of a screen it was. And since`i`ve spent on average 1-2 hours a day outdoors the past three months i have nothing to feel guilty aabout. (But after eight hours my body was sufficiently perplexed to necessitate an hour and twenty minutes on an exercise-bike. Since i practically haven`t biked (or triked, as it actually is), since may. (Shame on me! Better efforts in 2012, surely!)
So anyway, grc is a nice radioshow, though i just descended into the wonders of discussions vis a vis experts and charlatans in the wonderful world of security. Oh well, let me know whenever another show talking about msft security fixes and the world of consumer security in an intelligent manner show up.
What else to fucking do, really?
poked around a bit today, fixed some things, didn`t mess anything up, and even got to watch a The Long Now Foundation talk on the implications of automation. Pretty fun. Makes you laugh out loud when you take into account such things as automated word usage analysis. So, the speaker mentioned Player Piano, good novel indeed, flank it with Drunkard`s Walk and You`re All Alone and you have yourself a party. (Honestly, what to do with this 333 stock?!) :p
So, fun days, i`m learning something, which is good, i remember some things, which is also good, and sudenly i remembered a Donald Pocket story from ca the Seoul Olympics trying to tell a story about seperation, love, and enhancement. Not particularly surprising, considering the fact that Our Great Leader passed away yesterday? ; but humorous nonetheless. =)
May a thousand birds peck on his corpse until there is nothing left of the dictatorial bastard. (warning, opposition to dictatorship valid in agreed upon socio-economic aspects only, said agreement revokable without notice) Playing the EULA game as if it wasn`t played out already.
So a day in front of a screen it was. And since`i`ve spent on average 1-2 hours a day outdoors the past three months i have nothing to feel guilty aabout. (But after eight hours my body was sufficiently perplexed to necessitate an hour and twenty minutes on an exercise-bike. Since i practically haven`t biked (or triked, as it actually is), since may. (Shame on me! Better efforts in 2012, surely!)
So anyway, grc is a nice radioshow, though i just descended into the wonders of discussions vis a vis experts and charlatans in the wonderful world of security. Oh well, let me know whenever another show talking about msft security fixes and the world of consumer security in an intelligent manner show up.
What else to fucking do, really?
poked around a bit today, fixed some things, didn`t mess anything up, and even got to watch a The Long Now Foundation talk on the implications of automation. Pretty fun. Makes you laugh out loud when you take into account such things as automated word usage analysis. So, the speaker mentioned Player Piano, good novel indeed, flank it with Drunkard`s Walk and You`re All Alone and you have yourself a party. (Honestly, what to do with this 333 stock?!) :p
So, fun days, i`m learning something, which is good, i remember some things, which is also good, and sudenly i remembered a Donald Pocket story from ca the Seoul Olympics trying to tell a story about seperation, love, and enhancement. Not particularly surprising, considering the fact that Our Great Leader passed away yesterday? ; but humorous nonetheless. =)
May a thousand birds peck on his corpse until there is nothing left of the dictatorial bastard. (warning, opposition to dictatorship valid in agreed upon socio-economic aspects only, said agreement revokable without notice) Playing the EULA game as if it wasn`t played out already.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Slowly, surely.
So.
I`ve decided to take my work back underground; to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.
Nah, not really. I`m still pretty much above board. Reality though, might not be, and i can hardly be blamed for that!
I might still try to blame reality for that, which is still potentially fun.
Milliways, it`s all slowly coming back to me. And it should be interesting anywhoo.
In other news, we failed a boyfriend-spotcheck, and do not find ourselves horribly bothered by that. Things to do.
Seriously, would have been more convenient if computer magazines had game code snippets for reproduction in the earsy nineties, then i wouldn`t have to overcompensate with lfs and tecs now. Oh well, fun it`ll be.
I`ve decided to take my work back underground; to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.
Nah, not really. I`m still pretty much above board. Reality though, might not be, and i can hardly be blamed for that!
I might still try to blame reality for that, which is still potentially fun.
Milliways, it`s all slowly coming back to me. And it should be interesting anywhoo.
In other news, we failed a boyfriend-spotcheck, and do not find ourselves horribly bothered by that. Things to do.
Seriously, would have been more convenient if computer magazines had game code snippets for reproduction in the earsy nineties, then i wouldn`t have to overcompensate with lfs and tecs now. Oh well, fun it`ll be.
Arrival
And not aboard the UESC Marathon. But anyway.
Nice trainride yesterday, being disconnected from the internet and in motion does wonders for my focus. If i could afford to travel around on a train and work whilst the train moved about then that would have been ideal...... How very.....Trotskyist of me! :P
So yeah, i pieced together some more information on how my computer works and got to read some interesting short stories. I don`t know exactly how it happened, but about the only fiction i`ve found lately which i enjoy is Isaac Bashevis Singer`s short stories. Their tempo, and dignified relation to the many tumults and turmoils which make up our lives here on earth really suit me. Much preferable to the horror that is 300 page action sequences at least.
Other than that i`ve stumbled upon Gibsons security podcasts, which are pretty neat. It`s quite american when it comes to advertising though, but it`s tolerable. (To them it probably seems like negligible amounts of ads to anybody who aren`t norwegian, but to me ads on the radio is still -odd-!
Nice trainride yesterday, being disconnected from the internet and in motion does wonders for my focus. If i could afford to travel around on a train and work whilst the train moved about then that would have been ideal...... How very.....Trotskyist of me! :P
So yeah, i pieced together some more information on how my computer works and got to read some interesting short stories. I don`t know exactly how it happened, but about the only fiction i`ve found lately which i enjoy is Isaac Bashevis Singer`s short stories. Their tempo, and dignified relation to the many tumults and turmoils which make up our lives here on earth really suit me. Much preferable to the horror that is 300 page action sequences at least.
Other than that i`ve stumbled upon Gibsons security podcasts, which are pretty neat. It`s quite american when it comes to advertising though, but it`s tolerable. (To them it probably seems like negligible amounts of ads to anybody who aren`t norwegian, but to me ads on the radio is still -odd-!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Steady
So, leaving tomorrow. What to write about that, if anything... Well, as long as the joviall belittlement of me is kept to a minimum it`ll be quite enjoyable. Harpers have stopped doing the "Links" section, so no rerun of the parallelizations of expression afforded me on my previous ride on the train. Oh well, i can live with that. Besides, i acted like way to much of a junkie when it came to those links anyway.
Anyway, it should be an entertaining ride, at least for as long as the booxs, podcasts and lectures last. And i`ll find something to do, surely, even though i`l be pretty tired by the time we reach Drammen.
We are now going to see how xubuntu likes virtualbox. Hurry slowly, ever so slowly. Should be fun to have a focus besides the daily media-frenzy though. The question is if i should take further steps to minimize my media-feed routine. It seems like a passably good idea, but then i would have to allot myself a timeslot for keeping up with the wondrous distraction that is my inbox. Well jolly good luck to me on that.
Seriously. Gotcha! At times i really do miss the more intense semi-controllable hallucinatory landscapes. The Flesland Flyplass Dialup Ezperience was an eerie classic, remarkably painful an experience as well, for being instantiated with no discernable input-stream.
Dangnabbit, the music i`m listening to really reminds me of Poirot. Which i suddenly felt like being reintroduced to. Which sums up my attitude towards having begun reading "The Thin Man" by Graham Greene today. The only word i manage to conjure up for that novel right now is "prattle". Let`s hope it becomes fascinating prattle soon, because my patience is far from infinite when it comes to novels nowadays. (Actually managing to get through 400 pages of Stephensons latest begs to differ, but i don`t know if i`ll listen.
And uiodetect+conhost keeps launching themselves every three minutes to check up on an f-secure file. -Very- annoying since it does this on none of my other machines. I don`t want to inquire further into the matter, but i feel myself forced to. I have no intention of doing another systemwipe until 2012, because i`m sick of that side of computers.
Anyway, it should be an entertaining ride, at least for as long as the booxs, podcasts and lectures last. And i`ll find something to do, surely, even though i`l be pretty tired by the time we reach Drammen.
We are now going to see how xubuntu likes virtualbox. Hurry slowly, ever so slowly. Should be fun to have a focus besides the daily media-frenzy though. The question is if i should take further steps to minimize my media-feed routine. It seems like a passably good idea, but then i would have to allot myself a timeslot for keeping up with the wondrous distraction that is my inbox. Well jolly good luck to me on that.
Seriously. Gotcha! At times i really do miss the more intense semi-controllable hallucinatory landscapes. The Flesland Flyplass Dialup Ezperience was an eerie classic, remarkably painful an experience as well, for being instantiated with no discernable input-stream.
Dangnabbit, the music i`m listening to really reminds me of Poirot. Which i suddenly felt like being reintroduced to. Which sums up my attitude towards having begun reading "The Thin Man" by Graham Greene today. The only word i manage to conjure up for that novel right now is "prattle". Let`s hope it becomes fascinating prattle soon, because my patience is far from infinite when it comes to novels nowadays. (Actually managing to get through 400 pages of Stephensons latest begs to differ, but i don`t know if i`ll listen.
And uiodetect+conhost keeps launching themselves every three minutes to check up on an f-secure file. -Very- annoying since it does this on none of my other machines. I don`t want to inquire further into the matter, but i feel myself forced to. I have no intention of doing another systemwipe until 2012, because i`m sick of that side of computers.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Dubcheckya.
Deorbiting for a while. Steadily improving my Dvorak ability. Otherwise busy being very content and feeding my inner newsjunkie.
I`m hoping i might get the hours i need to play with tecs on the train to Porsgrunn on saturday, that would be neat. But i`m going to have to do some vim-exercises as well. (Dear goodness it`s embarrasing not to know editors like that at twenty-seven, but i`ll have to manage.)
So there is anyway hope, i actually asked the previously mentioned co-worker out, and she accepted, so we`re in for an entertaining evening sometime in january! Whooptedoo.
I`m hoping i might get the hours i need to play with tecs on the train to Porsgrunn on saturday, that would be neat. But i`m going to have to do some vim-exercises as well. (Dear goodness it`s embarrasing not to know editors like that at twenty-seven, but i`ll have to manage.)
So there is anyway hope, i actually asked the previously mentioned co-worker out, and she accepted, so we`re in for an entertaining evening sometime in january! Whooptedoo.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Cases
So, today was entertaining.
The dreamspaces i traveled through consisted of quite the treatise on the necessity of subterfuge, secrecy and force in physically hostile environments. (With a little hint of computer network security tagging along... Artie Ziff indeed...) Lesson well taken, though this does not have any relevance to my current situation. It`s all about taking and finding the power to define and acknowledge the unknown. That was inane. But the point is, i will not engage with this as an unacknowledged unknown.
And as i wrote yesterday about dancing today turned out to be very much about dancing. Which was cool, though not in the way i expected it. That`s the beauty of playful work. More dancing tomorrow, i hope, i need the practice.
Other things worthy of note, slight improvement in capacity for narrational interweaving. I`m g.tting better and better at manipulating my brain through masturbation, which when done right is quite the boon. (I honestly can`t believe i languished so long when it acme to proper masturbational brain stimulation. Quite funny, but kind of sad. Oh well....)
Anything else? Plenty, economic warfare, social warfare, material warfare, mental warfare, plain old warfare, and lot`s of scared and self-righteous people hurling themselves into ever new iterations of the present. And me. Yay!
No seriously, this is going to be tremendously chilling and nerve-wrackingly exciting. The greatest life i ever lived, quite honestly.
Too bad though, that we have to be such utter shits at times. I`m going to get a tamagotchi instead and leave this society behind. Or maybe not. Who me, i`m for contempt of all classes.
So, we`re the same old (or somewhat altered) semi-autonomous lemmings with limited capacity for long term thinking and behaviour as we ever were. Just great.
The dreamspaces i traveled through consisted of quite the treatise on the necessity of subterfuge, secrecy and force in physically hostile environments. (With a little hint of computer network security tagging along... Artie Ziff indeed...) Lesson well taken, though this does not have any relevance to my current situation. It`s all about taking and finding the power to define and acknowledge the unknown. That was inane. But the point is, i will not engage with this as an unacknowledged unknown.
And as i wrote yesterday about dancing today turned out to be very much about dancing. Which was cool, though not in the way i expected it. That`s the beauty of playful work. More dancing tomorrow, i hope, i need the practice.
Other things worthy of note, slight improvement in capacity for narrational interweaving. I`m g.tting better and better at manipulating my brain through masturbation, which when done right is quite the boon. (I honestly can`t believe i languished so long when it acme to proper masturbational brain stimulation. Quite funny, but kind of sad. Oh well....)
Anything else? Plenty, economic warfare, social warfare, material warfare, mental warfare, plain old warfare, and lot`s of scared and self-righteous people hurling themselves into ever new iterations of the present. And me. Yay!
No seriously, this is going to be tremendously chilling and nerve-wrackingly exciting. The greatest life i ever lived, quite honestly.
Too bad though, that we have to be such utter shits at times. I`m going to get a tamagotchi instead and leave this society behind. Or maybe not. Who me, i`m for contempt of all classes.
So, we`re the same old (or somewhat altered) semi-autonomous lemmings with limited capacity for long term thinking and behaviour as we ever were. Just great.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Perty
Upside
Fries small fish
Sunny
Disposed to think
or
disposed because of thought
pre-disposable
as humans are want to be
Fries small fish
Sunny
Disposed to think
or
disposed because of thought
pre-disposable
as humans are want to be
Another day in dismalville.
NO, actually, i`m quite happy. Go figure.
i don`t like writing on qwerty, but here goes.
So. Back to work, which is made tolerable by the existence of at least one perty pretty young lady. The rest of them are all nice persons of course, but it doesn`t hurt to have at least one person in the same age group around to be attracted to. That dialect is pure candy. (I`m really rather worried that i`d only find it as candy when listening to pretty people, i`m shallow like that....) Go superfetch.
But hey, i do need a dancing partner for the spring semester, so i might as well try that approach once. Or several times. Speaking of which, maybe its time to readjust my okcupid-world and see what happens in europe these days.
But I won`t do that right now. The previous evening was quite entertaining in dreamspace. A partial, if respectful reaming of educational institutions is the only part i remember right now, and certain of the forgotten parts were quite exhausting and uncomfortable. But this is why i need a dictaphone. Being able to instantly stream out dream remembrances upon awakening would be pretty cool. So i`ll probably get myself one!
That would up the ante on re-awakening, and hopefully give me even more of a jolt to get up. Which i need less and less as long as i am healthy...
So...much....to...be...engulfed in. But my mainstay is still the Serial Experiments Lain Stand Alone Complex. (At the end of it i pretty much know i`ll be weirded out by the inconsequentiality of it all, but i already have that with reality on some level, so to have it towards my own actions won`t hurt much!)
So, a Shukry Adams on the halfway point, and i`m about to reach rls #100 at kahvi, which brings around discreet. I always did like the name of that release. :)
But the battle is as always on to be the destabilizer/reconstituator, both in realms of the mind and in the socioeconomic ones. Kind of sad really, how much power there is in being a destabilizing agency if you view it as likely that the spoils of reconstruction also fall to you. Oh how i hate thinking related to exploitative/manipulative, short term financial gain. But i can`t exactly see how i could deconstruct the peddlers of it and benefit from their reconstituation. (And it wouldn`t be particularly -humane- to bereave them of their much aggrandized rights (which there seems on their part to be little interest in expanding beyond whichever insider-clique they believe themselves to gain from associating with at present.
Oh well, the best brainwashing Pentagon and the White House can buy. (Which seems to be quite the good one!) Oh how i laughed when i noticed that there was a Bachmann in "The Manchurian Candidate"! :)
Smells like napalm, tastes like chicken.
i don`t like writing on qwerty, but here goes.
So. Back to work, which is made tolerable by the existence of at least one perty pretty young lady. The rest of them are all nice persons of course, but it doesn`t hurt to have at least one person in the same age group around to be attracted to. That dialect is pure candy. (I`m really rather worried that i`d only find it as candy when listening to pretty people, i`m shallow like that....) Go superfetch.
But hey, i do need a dancing partner for the spring semester, so i might as well try that approach once. Or several times. Speaking of which, maybe its time to readjust my okcupid-world and see what happens in europe these days.
But I won`t do that right now. The previous evening was quite entertaining in dreamspace. A partial, if respectful reaming of educational institutions is the only part i remember right now, and certain of the forgotten parts were quite exhausting and uncomfortable. But this is why i need a dictaphone. Being able to instantly stream out dream remembrances upon awakening would be pretty cool. So i`ll probably get myself one!
That would up the ante on re-awakening, and hopefully give me even more of a jolt to get up. Which i need less and less as long as i am healthy...
So...much....to...be...engulfed in. But my mainstay is still the Serial Experiments Lain Stand Alone Complex. (At the end of it i pretty much know i`ll be weirded out by the inconsequentiality of it all, but i already have that with reality on some level, so to have it towards my own actions won`t hurt much!)
So, a Shukry Adams on the halfway point, and i`m about to reach rls #100 at kahvi, which brings around discreet. I always did like the name of that release. :)
But the battle is as always on to be the destabilizer/reconstituator, both in realms of the mind and in the socioeconomic ones. Kind of sad really, how much power there is in being a destabilizing agency if you view it as likely that the spoils of reconstruction also fall to you. Oh how i hate thinking related to exploitative/manipulative, short term financial gain. But i can`t exactly see how i could deconstruct the peddlers of it and benefit from their reconstituation. (And it wouldn`t be particularly -humane- to bereave them of their much aggrandized rights (which there seems on their part to be little interest in expanding beyond whichever insider-clique they believe themselves to gain from associating with at present.
Oh well, the best brainwashing Pentagon and the White House can buy. (Which seems to be quite the good one!) Oh how i laughed when i noticed that there was a Bachmann in "The Manchurian Candidate"! :)
Smells like napalm, tastes like chicken.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Same.
Previous posts should prove that i am quite monomanic in my interests. Which is strictly speaking not true, mental/computational phenomenology is just the topic i am most annoyed at not getting to discuss, forcing me to repeat these pretty primitive (from a disciplinarian viewpoint) forays into my experience and their implications for "what causes me to give a shit"tm.
I haven`t broached the topic of synchronicity lately, just as well. Nor the predictability of complex interactions in reality with limited datasets. But why should i, other than to point out that yes indeed, my brain is capable of conjuring me up as the axis mundi of all expressions presented as handles in the sea known as european dota-lobbies. It`s fun, and at times more revealing than healthy is.
But hey, i just happen to have VirtualBox installed on a laptop with eight gigs of ram. Time to play!
I haven`t broached the topic of synchronicity lately, just as well. Nor the predictability of complex interactions in reality with limited datasets. But why should i, other than to point out that yes indeed, my brain is capable of conjuring me up as the axis mundi of all expressions presented as handles in the sea known as european dota-lobbies. It`s fun, and at times more revealing than healthy is.
But hey, i just happen to have VirtualBox installed on a laptop with eight gigs of ram. Time to play!
Stepping up.
So.
Finalized new computer setup and i now have a functioning laptop from which to write this post. (Which is done horribly slow due to my unfamiliarity with Dvorak-keybindings. That will improve over time though...)
There is this part of Count Zero which continues to annoy/intrigue me. If my haphazard memory does not betray me it is at the beginning of the novel, and deals with the experience of being "infoblasted" a character dossier in a format not really fit for human consumption. And me, being who i am, a conjecturing nobody, find it hard to see that as state of the art in 1985.
Who knows the true capacity of these unreliable telepathy-like interactions. You`d be as hard-pressed as ever to make me define them as purely local. But this leaves me still somewhat troubled mentally. (Which i am okay with since i`ve been trending upwards physically and materially over the past year.) But the immediate payoff in comfortable and controllable mental expression has yet to manifest itself. I guess i really did go overboard on mentally displaying myself in an as-reprehensible-as-possible way. Which i did for several good reasons.
First of all, i refuse to enter into complete passivity, or the receptive meditative state, i like expression and will continue to value mine highly. The problem with this is of course, as i`ll admit, that my mental expression borders on the unhinged at the best of times. This is partly due to lack of skill, but it`s a lack of skill that is accentuated by my input/output-response experience. Now, if i wish i can view this as me submerging into (should that be with?) my unconscious. And this seems to be the method most preferred by others when broaching the topic of mental experience. But it leaves me, as previously noted, horribly unsatisfied as there is no actual proof present in such a reductive analysis (beg to differ with proof and i am a happy camper!.
So, this lack of skill in expression as presented (at times in glaringly obvious manners) in what to me cannot be by me truthfully defined as a single-user-space causes a lot of processing difficulties, most of which have to be summed up as the choice between refinement and negation. The problem also being that refinement has its own set of antagonizers, which are incredibly difficult to keep under control when soloing. Soloing these "multi"user-realms, is quite difficult, as i fall under phew socio-economic-institutional umbrellas and have a sorry tendency to take my harsh mechanics for self-judgement and automatically apply them on others with the added bonus feature of them not being me (for which i have an intriguing set of leniencies, to be sure!)
Gingerly obtuse.
But hey, with the stated goal of certain tech-people being to put the interface of their computing-devices at the brain-level all of these complications encountered in my single/multi/quasi/whatever-userland of my mental experiences on the whole quite amusing. But i still find it difficult to maintain my mental composure for prolonged periods of time.
Soooo, as long as we are on the topic. What is the backstory to Rydell & Carters Critical Miss experience-range-erin storyline. I`m inclined to find that very fascinating indeed. My experiences after playing Subvein were quite the fancy stuff, and there seems to be something in the high intensity of the interactions with videogames which cause my brain to spin into multi-expressive overdrive when i try to get some shuteye.
At the end of the day though, I`ll remember two things though, from the fun-filled-ride that was 05/06/07 and whenever. The voices in my head telling me to keep quiet in order to make everything turn out all right in semi-threatening ways, and me refusing to acquiesce to such a demand. (Doing so in practice is more difficult than loudly claiming so mentally, but the memory remains.)
Though i do also remember waking up once and not remembering anything about who i was and my story thus far, so I`m not saying there aren`t ways of making such matters forgotten...
Finalized new computer setup and i now have a functioning laptop from which to write this post. (Which is done horribly slow due to my unfamiliarity with Dvorak-keybindings. That will improve over time though...)
There is this part of Count Zero which continues to annoy/intrigue me. If my haphazard memory does not betray me it is at the beginning of the novel, and deals with the experience of being "infoblasted" a character dossier in a format not really fit for human consumption. And me, being who i am, a conjecturing nobody, find it hard to see that as state of the art in 1985.
Who knows the true capacity of these unreliable telepathy-like interactions. You`d be as hard-pressed as ever to make me define them as purely local. But this leaves me still somewhat troubled mentally. (Which i am okay with since i`ve been trending upwards physically and materially over the past year.) But the immediate payoff in comfortable and controllable mental expression has yet to manifest itself. I guess i really did go overboard on mentally displaying myself in an as-reprehensible-as-possible way. Which i did for several good reasons.
First of all, i refuse to enter into complete passivity, or the receptive meditative state, i like expression and will continue to value mine highly. The problem with this is of course, as i`ll admit, that my mental expression borders on the unhinged at the best of times. This is partly due to lack of skill, but it`s a lack of skill that is accentuated by my input/output-response experience. Now, if i wish i can view this as me submerging into (should that be with?) my unconscious. And this seems to be the method most preferred by others when broaching the topic of mental experience. But it leaves me, as previously noted, horribly unsatisfied as there is no actual proof present in such a reductive analysis (beg to differ with proof and i am a happy camper!.
So, this lack of skill in expression as presented (at times in glaringly obvious manners) in what to me cannot be by me truthfully defined as a single-user-space causes a lot of processing difficulties, most of which have to be summed up as the choice between refinement and negation. The problem also being that refinement has its own set of antagonizers, which are incredibly difficult to keep under control when soloing. Soloing these "multi"user-realms, is quite difficult, as i fall under phew socio-economic-institutional umbrellas and have a sorry tendency to take my harsh mechanics for self-judgement and automatically apply them on others with the added bonus feature of them not being me (for which i have an intriguing set of leniencies, to be sure!)
Gingerly obtuse.
But hey, with the stated goal of certain tech-people being to put the interface of their computing-devices at the brain-level all of these complications encountered in my single/multi/quasi/whatever-userland of my mental experiences on the whole quite amusing. But i still find it difficult to maintain my mental composure for prolonged periods of time.
Soooo, as long as we are on the topic. What is the backstory to Rydell & Carters Critical Miss experience-range-erin storyline. I`m inclined to find that very fascinating indeed. My experiences after playing Subvein were quite the fancy stuff, and there seems to be something in the high intensity of the interactions with videogames which cause my brain to spin into multi-expressive overdrive when i try to get some shuteye.
At the end of the day though, I`ll remember two things though, from the fun-filled-ride that was 05/06/07 and whenever. The voices in my head telling me to keep quiet in order to make everything turn out all right in semi-threatening ways, and me refusing to acquiesce to such a demand. (Doing so in practice is more difficult than loudly claiming so mentally, but the memory remains.)
Though i do also remember waking up once and not remembering anything about who i was and my story thus far, so I`m not saying there aren`t ways of making such matters forgotten...
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Brain
Did i ever see
what my brain and i
did to me
in real time
yesidid
every day
all day
did i ever see
what the world and i
did to me
in real time
yesidid
did i ever see
what the world and i
and
my brain and i
did to the rest of the world
yes i did
no i didnt
did you
no you didnt
did you watch yourself
maybe you did
maybe i forgot to watch you
maybe i didnt want to
maybe
i didnt know how
and lied about watching me
all along
whilst spending all of my time
watching something
watching me
watching something
watching me
watching something
watching me
did i know how to watch?
i can lie about it at least
what my brain and i
did to me
in real time
yesidid
every day
all day
did i ever see
what the world and i
did to me
in real time
yesidid
did i ever see
what the world and i
and
my brain and i
did to the rest of the world
yes i did
no i didnt
did you
no you didnt
did you watch yourself
maybe you did
maybe i forgot to watch you
maybe i didnt want to
maybe
i didnt know how
and lied about watching me
all along
whilst spending all of my time
watching something
watching me
watching something
watching me
watching something
watching me
did i know how to watch?
i can lie about it at least
Comfortably numb.
Tada.
This weekend has been a three-day bonanza in playtime with computers. Well worth it though it had its share of annoyances. What to say, since i spend eight hours a day five days a week trying to interact with humans i might afford myself the privilege of disappearing into the non-human interactive realm for the weekend. Though i`ll admit that i at times feel it very necessary to have somebody to speak of my doings with. Of which there is only one i know who operates on a somewhat similar technological plane.
The thunderbird + truecrypt + dropbox project ended up as a light fail. Everything works, but i`m just not certain i want to wait an hour for everything to settle every time i close my email program. On a 10Mbit upstream it wouldn`t have caused a hassle, but with 60kb/sec it`s just not worth it. Nice to finally have done it, though. And i can live with only having one of my computers operating as an email-storehouse.
Other than that my brain is now thoroughly mushed by countless hours of listening to Headphone Commute and Kahvi. It was kinda funny, when i came home friday some funk was playing on the radio. Dear goodness how much better that made me feel right then. I should probably do some extensive funk-therapy after i`ve ground my way through HC&K. Some -serious- funk-therapy!
Should be fun! :)
I`ve been reading too little this weekend though. I am still churning through Reamde, which is fun, but too much Clancy and not enough technology. The three-hundred-page-action-sequence is waaaay to much. And the unwinding of that part of the story is mind-boggingly boring and inconsequential. Seriously, T`Rain and the global economy just sort of disappears around page 230 and is never heard from again. Bloody boring. Well written, by all means, but still, a Clancy novel without any real nerve to its goings on. (For now, i still have to trudge through another four-hundred pages. And oh shameful me, i probably will!) Please let there be some sort of turning point because if this novel spends the next four-hundred pages chasing Jones before he commits "acts-of-airplane-evil"tm against america then i`m just gonna be bored. Terrorists and airplanes, yeah well, i guess they did have their tenth anniversary for that just now.
This weekend has been a three-day bonanza in playtime with computers. Well worth it though it had its share of annoyances. What to say, since i spend eight hours a day five days a week trying to interact with humans i might afford myself the privilege of disappearing into the non-human interactive realm for the weekend. Though i`ll admit that i at times feel it very necessary to have somebody to speak of my doings with. Of which there is only one i know who operates on a somewhat similar technological plane.
The thunderbird + truecrypt + dropbox project ended up as a light fail. Everything works, but i`m just not certain i want to wait an hour for everything to settle every time i close my email program. On a 10Mbit upstream it wouldn`t have caused a hassle, but with 60kb/sec it`s just not worth it. Nice to finally have done it, though. And i can live with only having one of my computers operating as an email-storehouse.
Other than that my brain is now thoroughly mushed by countless hours of listening to Headphone Commute and Kahvi. It was kinda funny, when i came home friday some funk was playing on the radio. Dear goodness how much better that made me feel right then. I should probably do some extensive funk-therapy after i`ve ground my way through HC&K. Some -serious- funk-therapy!
Should be fun! :)
I`ve been reading too little this weekend though. I am still churning through Reamde, which is fun, but too much Clancy and not enough technology. The three-hundred-page-action-sequence is waaaay to much. And the unwinding of that part of the story is mind-boggingly boring and inconsequential. Seriously, T`Rain and the global economy just sort of disappears around page 230 and is never heard from again. Bloody boring. Well written, by all means, but still, a Clancy novel without any real nerve to its goings on. (For now, i still have to trudge through another four-hundred pages. And oh shameful me, i probably will!) Please let there be some sort of turning point because if this novel spends the next four-hundred pages chasing Jones before he commits "acts-of-airplane-evil"tm against america then i`m just gonna be bored. Terrorists and airplanes, yeah well, i guess they did have their tenth anniversary for that just now.
Steady rolling.
So, another fun day of mucking about with system updates. Not surprisingly my new machine is becoming more and more schizophrenic by the minute. And I`ve yet to install more than five programs. Alas, the wonderful world of to sets of system update services.
Other than that, plenty of neoliberal implosions on the horizon, that`s going to be a special brand of awful to behold. I`ve gotten used to it though. Or, actually, I haven`t, it`s getting more and more dreadful to behold with each day that passes. It`s rally quite weird to be on an upwards trending economic situation in and around all of this calamity. I really, really, really, really should have spent more time searching the news for opportunities instead of constant reminders of grim realities, but go figure, i`m a sucker for negative maximals.
So. I`ve now listened my way through more than 160 Kahvi-releases, and I`ve only got 150 to go! Pure awesome, and quite the trip down memory lane. Back when life was wild and weird. -Very- weird. And incredibly entertaining. That`s the funny part, I only remember the negative maximals, but i still consider everything I`ve experienced to be super-awesome, entertaining and interesting. And important. Lucky me, i guess.
Other than that, plenty of neoliberal implosions on the horizon, that`s going to be a special brand of awful to behold. I`ve gotten used to it though. Or, actually, I haven`t, it`s getting more and more dreadful to behold with each day that passes. It`s rally quite weird to be on an upwards trending economic situation in and around all of this calamity. I really, really, really, really should have spent more time searching the news for opportunities instead of constant reminders of grim realities, but go figure, i`m a sucker for negative maximals.
So. I`ve now listened my way through more than 160 Kahvi-releases, and I`ve only got 150 to go! Pure awesome, and quite the trip down memory lane. Back when life was wild and weird. -Very- weird. And incredibly entertaining. That`s the funny part, I only remember the negative maximals, but i still consider everything I`ve experienced to be super-awesome, entertaining and interesting. And important. Lucky me, i guess.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Thinkapad.
So.
Time for a complete password-reset run and assorted hijinks.
I`m also back on Dvorak so typing will be slooow for a while.
Slowly installing stuff i need. Feels good to have a fresh machine.
Time for a complete password-reset run and assorted hijinks.
I`m also back on Dvorak so typing will be slooow for a while.
Slowly installing stuff i need. Feels good to have a fresh machine.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Back into the mines of my mind. (Do they frizzle or do they BOOM?)
So, I`ve finally gotten my brain back into forcing myself to write for as long as i find it interesting every day. Which is needed (again) since my expression is (surprise surprise) in yet another state of destitution. For want of a conversation in ones language an intellect was lost, or so i say. But i won`t argue the point without being open about a set of deficiencies of a personal nature.
What-EVER. Running along the same pattern as usual, with some interesting alterations.
For once, i`m currently working alot, which hasn`t really happened since 2007? At times i am amazed that i managed to get away with it for so long, and i can, when reflecting upon it, take a sort of embarrassed pride and joy in it. So anyway, as long as the local economy doesn`t completely tank (which it sort of will, sooner or later, with hilarious consequences) i`ll be able to earn enough money to actually purchase a bunch of stuff i`ve found myself needing for quite some time.
It will suffice, for now, to say that i do not carry the responsibility of disposable income particularly well. But alas, it is bloodyfunnotto!
So, lotsa tech-electro, couple of new computers, (thanks m) lotsa security, one hello kitty hairband (long story), lotsa healthy food and plenty of swimming later we arrive in the place where we find great joy in our wicked and solitary method.
Geeking out in 2011 is strange stuff. And well worth it.
Oh, and by the way. I`d advise everybody to never ever spend three days wading through comparisons of antivirus-software. Dear fucking god i feel as dumb now as i did then and i`ll be darned if i ever managed to come to grips with any ratings.
Funny sidenote. Purchased F-Secure yesterday, had a person with a finnish passport in front of me at the mail office today. Go figure. (Cue oblig. reference to noticing things here. It`s how i`ve conditioned my brain to work and it`s kind of fun at times, it`ll have to do for now.)
G out.
What-EVER. Running along the same pattern as usual, with some interesting alterations.
For once, i`m currently working alot, which hasn`t really happened since 2007? At times i am amazed that i managed to get away with it for so long, and i can, when reflecting upon it, take a sort of embarrassed pride and joy in it. So anyway, as long as the local economy doesn`t completely tank (which it sort of will, sooner or later, with hilarious consequences) i`ll be able to earn enough money to actually purchase a bunch of stuff i`ve found myself needing for quite some time.
It will suffice, for now, to say that i do not carry the responsibility of disposable income particularly well. But alas, it is bloodyfunnotto!
So, lotsa tech-electro, couple of new computers, (thanks m) lotsa security, one hello kitty hairband (long story), lotsa healthy food and plenty of swimming later we arrive in the place where we find great joy in our wicked and solitary method.
Geeking out in 2011 is strange stuff. And well worth it.
Oh, and by the way. I`d advise everybody to never ever spend three days wading through comparisons of antivirus-software. Dear fucking god i feel as dumb now as i did then and i`ll be darned if i ever managed to come to grips with any ratings.
Funny sidenote. Purchased F-Secure yesterday, had a person with a finnish passport in front of me at the mail office today. Go figure. (Cue oblig. reference to noticing things here. It`s how i`ve conditioned my brain to work and it`s kind of fun at times, it`ll have to do for now.)
G out.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Parallels
So, found Parallels. It`s pretty obvious that any machine without a red dot in the middle of the keyboard is completely useless for my purposes, having to swerve down to that slow and annoying pad-thing below the keyboard is a nuisance i really can`t live with. So, i won´t be doing this with a Mac anytime soon. (Cross-licensing deal with Lenovo to get the red dot anyone? And get ahold of the pgup-pgdwn-keys next to the up key as well, having to press two buttons for pgup is just silly.
Roompopsfrizzles
Is just a totally neat word for describing the experience of being somewhere electrifying. Which i just made up, probably based on some traces previously established by similar words but with no possibility for further lineage-tracing.
So i`ll chalk it up to the marvellous ingenuity which the human brain is capable of. Not exactly curing cancer here, but hey, fail better.
The problem is that i`ve grown into the habit of failing worse, doing better, failing even worse, doing even better and so forth. Oh well.
So i`ll chalk it up to the marvellous ingenuity which the human brain is capable of. Not exactly curing cancer here, but hey, fail better.
The problem is that i`ve grown into the habit of failing worse, doing better, failing even worse, doing even better and so forth. Oh well.
Zaniness ensues.
Dear goodness giving up smoking requires that people just disappear for four to five days. Then it`s all sweet and dandy. Nobody seems to realize this though, and views i as an abnormality when one takes the time out of one`s schedule to get rid of some nicotine. Yah well. I should be reasonable nicotine-free unless i get incredibly angry soon, which there is at least some reason to hope i`ll avoid. It went totally wrong a week ago, but we`ll see.
Other than that, yeah, the "Stowaways" story arc over at The Escapist is eerily familiar. (In a good and bad way.) But that is as is. It has its moments when things are on automatic and you wonder just what is being constructed, but hey. We`ll see what bounties await the ever azure skies. (Okay, just had ice cream, cheer down a little!, nah, don`t!)
Mission Control @ SOMafm is officially the best thing to happen to a mind needing something to focus on when in the borderlands of being. Grown really fond of that channel, by now i usually only tune in when there is a Shuttle Mission ongoing, unfortunately we won`t hear any of those longer, so i hope Mission Control keeps on operating for those times i need a background boost in my world.
Butters and cream. I want to start the espresso machine and make a major racket whilst staying up all night caffeinated, but that would wake kids, which we don`t want to do.
Other than that, everything proceeding according to plan, except for me having spent too much money on alcohol (shame on me) and me not having enough privileges on these computers to install VirtualBox. Which is annoying since i have a four-way DropBox-LFS project i want to get my hands on as soon as possible!
Other than that, yeah, the "Stowaways" story arc over at The Escapist is eerily familiar. (In a good and bad way.) But that is as is. It has its moments when things are on automatic and you wonder just what is being constructed, but hey. We`ll see what bounties await the ever azure skies. (Okay, just had ice cream, cheer down a little!, nah, don`t!)
Mission Control @ SOMafm is officially the best thing to happen to a mind needing something to focus on when in the borderlands of being. Grown really fond of that channel, by now i usually only tune in when there is a Shuttle Mission ongoing, unfortunately we won`t hear any of those longer, so i hope Mission Control keeps on operating for those times i need a background boost in my world.
Butters and cream. I want to start the espresso machine and make a major racket whilst staying up all night caffeinated, but that would wake kids, which we don`t want to do.
Other than that, everything proceeding according to plan, except for me having spent too much money on alcohol (shame on me) and me not having enough privileges on these computers to install VirtualBox. Which is annoying since i have a four-way DropBox-LFS project i want to get my hands on as soon as possible!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
omygodpompoms!
Lively
untimely
but beseeched from the close
in too close
or far enough away
not easy to say
untimely
but beseeched from the close
in too close
or far enough away
not easy to say
Randy dandy
Rowdy and dandy, would probably be a better description. So, interview in another ten hours, and i won`t be able to get much sleep. Well, South Park is here to help.
Last night was as usual kind of troublesome. It`s all right though, my capacity for mental expression was somewhat present. But it`s a strain to walk straight under the ever-watchful "eyes" of whatever manages to present me with fragments of responses to my every thought. Shouldn`t think that possible, and would like to know the mechanics of it. (As usual.) But it is pretty sweet when everything flows in a gainful manner, which it occasionally does. Seriously, meeting fragments of other people`s consciousness-structures and having to interact with them everytime i lay down in bed to sleep is pretty intense.
So anyway, makes me wonder what other people swerve through in their mental spaces. Still somewhat annoying though. I pretty much retracted myself from social spaces six years ago, since i considered myself to be to much of a nuisance. Which only led to me moving around in mental landscapes where my every expression of thought was considered bothersome.
So what really happened here? Reality kind of snuck up to me like that. Or some aspect of reality. With which i am not currently familiar. Oh well, to the best of my knowledge it`s a wholly subjective experience not overlapping with the experiences of consciousness and being of the people with whom i continually overlap in my head. At least that`s what i`ve been told in my more confrontational moments. But of course, i also know how overwhelming the expressions trying to cow experiencers into silence can be. Something which i never really fell for (ok at times i did, and continue to do), but i tried to out-argue the expressions which tried to bind me to silence in all of this. (Which means that i spend way too much time writing about it! Yeah, i`m stupid like that.) Now all i have to do is outdo whichever cowing capacities this experience has and manage to get ahold of the infrastructure and social space around me where such and other explorations of the makings of society, the sciences and reality is possible. Should be easy! =) Or maybe it`ll be hellishly difficult.
But oh i remember the sweet experience of flying low over american air defenses and landing for a hallucinatory extravaganza with ambiguous command and authority structures. And it was there. Makes me wonder. But so does all else reality has to offer. (It`s a silly notion of humans, to view that which is considered to be supernormal/abnormal as necessarily more attuned to realities of a greater nature than everyday experience.) I appreciate it, but i`m not particularly convinced of the truthfulness of anything i experience in purely mental realms. If i did that i`d be a total goner by now!
So, interested, but not beholden. But hey, everybody needs a hobby, and i forgot to make a proper 419-scam letter so i can`t make my money that way.
Last night was as usual kind of troublesome. It`s all right though, my capacity for mental expression was somewhat present. But it`s a strain to walk straight under the ever-watchful "eyes" of whatever manages to present me with fragments of responses to my every thought. Shouldn`t think that possible, and would like to know the mechanics of it. (As usual.) But it is pretty sweet when everything flows in a gainful manner, which it occasionally does. Seriously, meeting fragments of other people`s consciousness-structures and having to interact with them everytime i lay down in bed to sleep is pretty intense.
So anyway, makes me wonder what other people swerve through in their mental spaces. Still somewhat annoying though. I pretty much retracted myself from social spaces six years ago, since i considered myself to be to much of a nuisance. Which only led to me moving around in mental landscapes where my every expression of thought was considered bothersome.
So what really happened here? Reality kind of snuck up to me like that. Or some aspect of reality. With which i am not currently familiar. Oh well, to the best of my knowledge it`s a wholly subjective experience not overlapping with the experiences of consciousness and being of the people with whom i continually overlap in my head. At least that`s what i`ve been told in my more confrontational moments. But of course, i also know how overwhelming the expressions trying to cow experiencers into silence can be. Something which i never really fell for (ok at times i did, and continue to do), but i tried to out-argue the expressions which tried to bind me to silence in all of this. (Which means that i spend way too much time writing about it! Yeah, i`m stupid like that.) Now all i have to do is outdo whichever cowing capacities this experience has and manage to get ahold of the infrastructure and social space around me where such and other explorations of the makings of society, the sciences and reality is possible. Should be easy! =) Or maybe it`ll be hellishly difficult.
But oh i remember the sweet experience of flying low over american air defenses and landing for a hallucinatory extravaganza with ambiguous command and authority structures. And it was there. Makes me wonder. But so does all else reality has to offer. (It`s a silly notion of humans, to view that which is considered to be supernormal/abnormal as necessarily more attuned to realities of a greater nature than everyday experience.) I appreciate it, but i`m not particularly convinced of the truthfulness of anything i experience in purely mental realms. If i did that i`d be a total goner by now!
So, interested, but not beholden. But hey, everybody needs a hobby, and i forgot to make a proper 419-scam letter so i can`t make my money that way.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
So it ain`t all bad
NO honestly. It isn`t. BOuts of depression are their own story, which i seem to focus on in here a little too often.
Which is something i should attempt to alter. So my neurochemistry has allowed me a new ride on the optimism-gravytrain. Make no mistake, i`m still somewhat troubled by lot`s of harrowing (all of it not in Harrowstone), but there are potentials to be grasped in myself, my vincinity, society, and reality (which is still at large, (and pretty god-dawm Huge!)) So, i could focus on that for a change.
The easy street would be to get a job looking after kids in a kindergarden, or at least a gig as a temp in a kindergarden. THe job is interesting, relatively easy (dependent upon colleagues and structural rigour of course), and would probably keep me happy and with an okay revenue stream in the short to medium term.
The medium to long term is still whirling around even more attempts at broadening my knowledge of academical fields i can find some use for (all) and narrowing them down to what i can do without kow-towing to the local repository of theories and viewpoints. Which means the sciences. WHich first and foremost means getting a chemistry set, a new computer to work on Linux From Scratch and TECS on (erm, yeah, still comfortably locked in a Lain-run here! =)) and whichever books high school currently uses for maths, chemistry and physics. Won`t hurt, and i`m still going to do it pretty slow, which means that i lack the drive to force myself to work on it except when everything is going really well. That`s my bane, i`m afraid, but i`m also terribly fond of not rushing things. People who need to get a lot done immediately unnerve me. (Mostly because i know how i am when i come into contact with my own impatient sides, but alas.)
Other than that. I should spend less time on the slot-machine known as internet news. Shame on me. I like to look at my log of the last four years of headlines and articles read, but it scares me how much of this i completely forget to take into account when i make up my mind about topics. I guess i`m starting to learn the difference between a dilletante and a professional. (That took its time!) It`s a nice slot machine, and it teaches me if nothing else to enjoy quality in reporting, and the lively and intelligent debate which one occasionally encounters on varioslashus websites. But that`s okay.
And i have to keep swimming, keep eating the sardines, get back on the workout-routine, do regular saunas (oh my god it`s going to be closed until september, how will i survive???), do more prep-work for our roleplaying games (hope nobody got too upset over my little outburst over the rhetorical flair at display in our sessions.) and generally try to not annoy family members unneccessarily. (Since i am, for all purposes, pretty dependent upon their continued good will. (Which i seem pretty close to have squandered, we`ll see.) (I am way too fond of pushing boundaries.) But it should also be said that when i have a week to relax before going off on a painting job i would like to spend it in what position i want when i want and not be held up to the strictures of ordinary family life. My vacation, my time, my ways. Seriously!
Hellopatrickswayze.
Total Carnage!
Poor Ricky Fish.
Which is something i should attempt to alter. So my neurochemistry has allowed me a new ride on the optimism-gravytrain. Make no mistake, i`m still somewhat troubled by lot`s of harrowing (all of it not in Harrowstone), but there are potentials to be grasped in myself, my vincinity, society, and reality (which is still at large, (and pretty god-dawm Huge!)) So, i could focus on that for a change.
The easy street would be to get a job looking after kids in a kindergarden, or at least a gig as a temp in a kindergarden. THe job is interesting, relatively easy (dependent upon colleagues and structural rigour of course), and would probably keep me happy and with an okay revenue stream in the short to medium term.
The medium to long term is still whirling around even more attempts at broadening my knowledge of academical fields i can find some use for (all) and narrowing them down to what i can do without kow-towing to the local repository of theories and viewpoints. Which means the sciences. WHich first and foremost means getting a chemistry set, a new computer to work on Linux From Scratch and TECS on (erm, yeah, still comfortably locked in a Lain-run here! =)) and whichever books high school currently uses for maths, chemistry and physics. Won`t hurt, and i`m still going to do it pretty slow, which means that i lack the drive to force myself to work on it except when everything is going really well. That`s my bane, i`m afraid, but i`m also terribly fond of not rushing things. People who need to get a lot done immediately unnerve me. (Mostly because i know how i am when i come into contact with my own impatient sides, but alas.)
Other than that. I should spend less time on the slot-machine known as internet news. Shame on me. I like to look at my log of the last four years of headlines and articles read, but it scares me how much of this i completely forget to take into account when i make up my mind about topics. I guess i`m starting to learn the difference between a dilletante and a professional. (That took its time!) It`s a nice slot machine, and it teaches me if nothing else to enjoy quality in reporting, and the lively and intelligent debate which one occasionally encounters on varioslashus websites. But that`s okay.
And i have to keep swimming, keep eating the sardines, get back on the workout-routine, do regular saunas (oh my god it`s going to be closed until september, how will i survive???), do more prep-work for our roleplaying games (hope nobody got too upset over my little outburst over the rhetorical flair at display in our sessions.) and generally try to not annoy family members unneccessarily. (Since i am, for all purposes, pretty dependent upon their continued good will. (Which i seem pretty close to have squandered, we`ll see.) (I am way too fond of pushing boundaries.) But it should also be said that when i have a week to relax before going off on a painting job i would like to spend it in what position i want when i want and not be held up to the strictures of ordinary family life. My vacation, my time, my ways. Seriously!
Hellopatrickswayze.
Total Carnage!
Poor Ricky Fish.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Falling forwards, alas not upwards.
So, haven`t been here in a while.
It should be unneccessary to point out that there is little reason for me to be here even now. What, you want another round of my bickerings about the life six years deep between "A Medicine for Melancholy" and "The Genius and the Goddess"? No didn`t think so, but hey, what else is there to talk about?
Pretty much mentally ruined at present, kind of sad, there used to be quite a lot of enjoyment and contemplation in my mental expression, now it`s just a mad dash to the safety of sleep. Sad it had to end thus, but hey, too much time alone can do that to a man. This is where i am supposed to write something about the positive and uplifting turns my life can take over the next year/five year plan/decade, but why bother. I`ve seen pretty much everything i ever wanted blow up in between my hands and have completely lost any belief in ever regaining anything. Fair enough. It`s not as if a strenous mental environment counts as the work one is supposed to do to get ahead in life. SO i shan`t lay the blame anywhere than at the feet of my ignorance of the manner in which human societies function.
SO BLAH! Fucking pointless, and alone for six years running, nothing new here. I`ve been socially dead since 2004 as well, so why bother. Met some nice people, of course, but i never really got into the art of actually making long term connections with people. How could i? Wouldn`t want to spend my time assessing other people based upon the criteria i assess my self. (Which i wouldn`t really do, but that`s another story.)
I`m too scared for other people now anyway, it`s not as if they are going to get any amusement out of talking with me. How could they, i keep myself as guarded as the day is long. And i have long experience in noticing that nobody is really interested in anything i say anyways, so why bother with that? And what little i would say would be wholly lacking in analytical/factual basis and just a general smear made up of poorly digested semi-factoids and tidbits which does not a worldview make. (Except for the fact that i`m alone and going down, i can wax on that at length, but i find it highly unlikely that anybody would be particularly interested in -that-, wouldn`t you say.)
So yeah. Disrepair. Is the order of the day. Thus the name.
Other than that. Why am i still sober?
Not much demand for beings like me. Can`t say i fault the world, nature or the human populace particularly much. Who the fuck needs twenty seven year old broke unemployed nobodies these days anyway? (Except the normal array of dubious entities trying to extract whatever possible from every inch of easily disposable matter.) So yeah, nobody. Oh, i already guessed. That`s the way it`s pretty much always been (except for a couple of years,) and i can let it ebb out slowly. No need to rush about things.
So yeah. Local boy does not make it. Has some fun occassionally, and crash down into a fiery pit. And here`s Tom with the weather.
Oh, and this extended beta for ebocloud gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies. Internal representation/external interaction. Now where did i put that tractor beam? I`m sorry, this as solely internal representation based on available data does not add up. (The brain never did, it`s all right...) I hate innuendo! Wow, the self destructive mental expression i adopted as to not irk anything in my brain any further sure didn`t do a whole lot of good. Alas.
So what`s worth it these days? Not a whole damn lot. As stated, six years of waking up alone breaks you apart. It`s as easy as that. Unless you have some group affiliations involved in works you can get behind, which i haven`t, so shucks for that as well. Now i`m behind on both counts with no real desire or capacity to reel myself back in and on.
Fuck it, it`s you world, go crazy. It`s not as if you can harm it. You can harm the survival of the species of course, but since when did we give a fuck about that anyways.
G
It should be unneccessary to point out that there is little reason for me to be here even now. What, you want another round of my bickerings about the life six years deep between "A Medicine for Melancholy" and "The Genius and the Goddess"? No didn`t think so, but hey, what else is there to talk about?
Pretty much mentally ruined at present, kind of sad, there used to be quite a lot of enjoyment and contemplation in my mental expression, now it`s just a mad dash to the safety of sleep. Sad it had to end thus, but hey, too much time alone can do that to a man. This is where i am supposed to write something about the positive and uplifting turns my life can take over the next year/five year plan/decade, but why bother. I`ve seen pretty much everything i ever wanted blow up in between my hands and have completely lost any belief in ever regaining anything. Fair enough. It`s not as if a strenous mental environment counts as the work one is supposed to do to get ahead in life. SO i shan`t lay the blame anywhere than at the feet of my ignorance of the manner in which human societies function.
SO BLAH! Fucking pointless, and alone for six years running, nothing new here. I`ve been socially dead since 2004 as well, so why bother. Met some nice people, of course, but i never really got into the art of actually making long term connections with people. How could i? Wouldn`t want to spend my time assessing other people based upon the criteria i assess my self. (Which i wouldn`t really do, but that`s another story.)
I`m too scared for other people now anyway, it`s not as if they are going to get any amusement out of talking with me. How could they, i keep myself as guarded as the day is long. And i have long experience in noticing that nobody is really interested in anything i say anyways, so why bother with that? And what little i would say would be wholly lacking in analytical/factual basis and just a general smear made up of poorly digested semi-factoids and tidbits which does not a worldview make. (Except for the fact that i`m alone and going down, i can wax on that at length, but i find it highly unlikely that anybody would be particularly interested in -that-, wouldn`t you say.)
So yeah. Disrepair. Is the order of the day. Thus the name.
Other than that. Why am i still sober?
Not much demand for beings like me. Can`t say i fault the world, nature or the human populace particularly much. Who the fuck needs twenty seven year old broke unemployed nobodies these days anyway? (Except the normal array of dubious entities trying to extract whatever possible from every inch of easily disposable matter.) So yeah, nobody. Oh, i already guessed. That`s the way it`s pretty much always been (except for a couple of years,) and i can let it ebb out slowly. No need to rush about things.
So yeah. Local boy does not make it. Has some fun occassionally, and crash down into a fiery pit. And here`s Tom with the weather.
Oh, and this extended beta for ebocloud gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies. Internal representation/external interaction. Now where did i put that tractor beam? I`m sorry, this as solely internal representation based on available data does not add up. (The brain never did, it`s all right...) I hate innuendo! Wow, the self destructive mental expression i adopted as to not irk anything in my brain any further sure didn`t do a whole lot of good. Alas.
So what`s worth it these days? Not a whole damn lot. As stated, six years of waking up alone breaks you apart. It`s as easy as that. Unless you have some group affiliations involved in works you can get behind, which i haven`t, so shucks for that as well. Now i`m behind on both counts with no real desire or capacity to reel myself back in and on.
Fuck it, it`s you world, go crazy. It`s not as if you can harm it. You can harm the survival of the species of course, but since when did we give a fuck about that anyways.
G
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Do i know where i am any longer? Do i still remember my 21st birthday? Do i still remember the emotional intensity that was involved in what i experienced in those days mentally? And does anybody relate to what that was in an intelligent manner?
Do they? Should they? Probably not. That was my fight. If i meet people who have had similar fights and we recognize each other then that is all right, i shouldn`t try to foist them onto beings not capable of relating to them.
But yeah. I want to fuck you like an animal.
So, were you all synchronous? WERE YOU? Are you aware of how hard i`ve argued for the universality of the synchronous experience in order to avoid looking at my self as unique? I`ve spent so many hours espousing the theory of synchronisity as a universal attribute embodied by all beings as to make myself sick. THIS IS NOT AN EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY, BUT ITS HELLA SCARY THAT SO FEW PEOPLE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND RELATE TO IT AS A CAPACITY OF PHYSICAL REALITY.
Dear god how that scares me. I`m stuck in the infinite reflections of my unfolding being and people i meet laugh it away as if i was delusional. What happened to make me perceptive to it and them oblivious to it? Could somebody explain that to me? Please? Please? Please?! Is it because i have a HCE and they haven`t?
And all of those hallucinatory terrains.... Did you have those and neglect to tell, or didn`t you at all. Trust me, i were in areas of those terrains where voices told me that everything would improve if i told nobody about it. And maybe it did for alot of you... I honestly don`t know. If you`ve spent six years+ in hallucinatory landscapes involving all of your friends, families and extended social networks then you have some issues with how the world unfolds. I`ve seen aspects of people that are in line with what i believe them to be. (And the charge can be laid at my feet that it is a show of my unconscious....but that would only tell me that my unconscious superscedes my conscious capacity, which opens up the can of worms that is the realization that consciousness is superficial to the further unfolding of humanity.) No Honestly. If my unconscious can present counter-arguments to every argument i try to present, and if it can offer a relevant counterimage to any conscious image i try to express (whilst chastising me for presenting any image at all, as if they were an imposition on other peoples consciousness) then the untapped potential of my brain is to me infinite. The alternative, which none of you appear to entertain, is that the collective being that is reality is harnessing the tools available to it in reality to construct something that superscedes the individual consciousness. Which is okay to a certain degreee. But i heard i rhyme just recently. "We call it control, they call it coercive persuasion." And if you cannot conform to the majority view whilst engaging in these interactive spaces you end up getting shitted on pretty heavily. (Yeah, it was pretty amusing to be sodomized in my dreams for playing with pro-israel stances after having been the most informed being in my social sphere about the genocide currently taking place in the region.) LAMERS! FUCK YOU. You find a weak individual and then you try to assert yourself towards that person in order to gain stature in relation to your group instead of asserting yourself towards the structure as it is. I hate you for it pretty intensely.
I am not the endpoint. Understanding the mechanics of our current interaction is the enpoint. Failure to recognize that is failure. Capacity to understand that is appreciated.
I am scared. And alone. I have a supportive family. For which i am grateful. But i am still scared, and alone. I want to wake up next to somebody and feel that i have and ally off on her own explorative venture. But i`ve given up on that idea. Seriously, six years of waking up alone destroys a man.
G out.
Do they? Should they? Probably not. That was my fight. If i meet people who have had similar fights and we recognize each other then that is all right, i shouldn`t try to foist them onto beings not capable of relating to them.
But yeah. I want to fuck you like an animal.
So, were you all synchronous? WERE YOU? Are you aware of how hard i`ve argued for the universality of the synchronous experience in order to avoid looking at my self as unique? I`ve spent so many hours espousing the theory of synchronisity as a universal attribute embodied by all beings as to make myself sick. THIS IS NOT AN EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY, BUT ITS HELLA SCARY THAT SO FEW PEOPLE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND RELATE TO IT AS A CAPACITY OF PHYSICAL REALITY.
Dear god how that scares me. I`m stuck in the infinite reflections of my unfolding being and people i meet laugh it away as if i was delusional. What happened to make me perceptive to it and them oblivious to it? Could somebody explain that to me? Please? Please? Please?! Is it because i have a HCE and they haven`t?
And all of those hallucinatory terrains.... Did you have those and neglect to tell, or didn`t you at all. Trust me, i were in areas of those terrains where voices told me that everything would improve if i told nobody about it. And maybe it did for alot of you... I honestly don`t know. If you`ve spent six years+ in hallucinatory landscapes involving all of your friends, families and extended social networks then you have some issues with how the world unfolds. I`ve seen aspects of people that are in line with what i believe them to be. (And the charge can be laid at my feet that it is a show of my unconscious....but that would only tell me that my unconscious superscedes my conscious capacity, which opens up the can of worms that is the realization that consciousness is superficial to the further unfolding of humanity.) No Honestly. If my unconscious can present counter-arguments to every argument i try to present, and if it can offer a relevant counterimage to any conscious image i try to express (whilst chastising me for presenting any image at all, as if they were an imposition on other peoples consciousness) then the untapped potential of my brain is to me infinite. The alternative, which none of you appear to entertain, is that the collective being that is reality is harnessing the tools available to it in reality to construct something that superscedes the individual consciousness. Which is okay to a certain degreee. But i heard i rhyme just recently. "We call it control, they call it coercive persuasion." And if you cannot conform to the majority view whilst engaging in these interactive spaces you end up getting shitted on pretty heavily. (Yeah, it was pretty amusing to be sodomized in my dreams for playing with pro-israel stances after having been the most informed being in my social sphere about the genocide currently taking place in the region.) LAMERS! FUCK YOU. You find a weak individual and then you try to assert yourself towards that person in order to gain stature in relation to your group instead of asserting yourself towards the structure as it is. I hate you for it pretty intensely.
I am not the endpoint. Understanding the mechanics of our current interaction is the enpoint. Failure to recognize that is failure. Capacity to understand that is appreciated.
I am scared. And alone. I have a supportive family. For which i am grateful. But i am still scared, and alone. I want to wake up next to somebody and feel that i have and ally off on her own explorative venture. But i`ve given up on that idea. Seriously, six years of waking up alone destroys a man.
G out.
You thought this was easy. You thought i was lazy. You thought my unfolding was based upon boredom and confusion. You thought i needed to realize what reality was. You thought
And you were right. Unfortunately you were also wrong. My desires, my goals, my experiences, my mechanics, my attempts, all of what made me into an unfolding being was something i tried to explain. I failed, we all do. That`s all right. But this little piggy needed something new. And i found it.
Have you ever read about how lynch mobs in america focused on people in the black community that had established a degree of wealth? They were quite apt at targeting the black family in the community that had a semblance of wealth, or something just slightly out of the ordinary relative to the rest of the black community. Well yeah. THat is just how gruesome reality is to people who aren`t part of the dominant collective.
So therefore i should hold my head and expression down in order to not attract the attention of entities which are group-based and intent on destroying people they don`t view as part of their group. I fail at that again and again.
But i like being the canary. It tears me apart. It has for the last six years, what am i to do?
Epiphany is here. I meet it every night i go to sleep. And having low social skills and being cut of from the rest of positively unfolding reality it has torn me apart. And nobody else in my expression-sphere sees it as existing (at least to me). Which is pretty scary.
G out
And you were right. Unfortunately you were also wrong. My desires, my goals, my experiences, my mechanics, my attempts, all of what made me into an unfolding being was something i tried to explain. I failed, we all do. That`s all right. But this little piggy needed something new. And i found it.
Have you ever read about how lynch mobs in america focused on people in the black community that had established a degree of wealth? They were quite apt at targeting the black family in the community that had a semblance of wealth, or something just slightly out of the ordinary relative to the rest of the black community. Well yeah. THat is just how gruesome reality is to people who aren`t part of the dominant collective.
So therefore i should hold my head and expression down in order to not attract the attention of entities which are group-based and intent on destroying people they don`t view as part of their group. I fail at that again and again.
But i like being the canary. It tears me apart. It has for the last six years, what am i to do?
Epiphany is here. I meet it every night i go to sleep. And having low social skills and being cut of from the rest of positively unfolding reality it has torn me apart. And nobody else in my expression-sphere sees it as existing (at least to me). Which is pretty scary.
G out
narrative
Proteus IV says HI!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Attention economy my ass.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Attention economy my ass.
In another timezone.
So yeah.
If you still didn`t notice. The combination of heavy alcohol intoxication, re-reading of old Marathon terminals and Nine Inch Nails i pretty nice.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON?
You have no idea, really. Neither do i. If you can`t recognize that then it will be a challenge to communicate.
Naw, okay, i`ll be really friendly and stuff. I`m by now all built on lies, and interpretations of lies. I hate it, but i felt it as necessary at the time. Telling truths seemed so scary to me.
But i`m still egotripping a Mjolnir Mark IV with Traxus IV on the tracks. Shut down his net did you? Well, Ugaritic seemed to work well. No seriously, you tell me lies, i rearrange those lies to fit my narrative in order to put me ahead of your lies. What else should i do? I am the centrepoint kid after all.........
If you still didn`t notice. The combination of heavy alcohol intoxication, re-reading of old Marathon terminals and Nine Inch Nails i pretty nice.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON?
You have no idea, really. Neither do i. If you can`t recognize that then it will be a challenge to communicate.
Naw, okay, i`ll be really friendly and stuff. I`m by now all built on lies, and interpretations of lies. I hate it, but i felt it as necessary at the time. Telling truths seemed so scary to me.
But i`m still egotripping a Mjolnir Mark IV with Traxus IV on the tracks. Shut down his net did you? Well, Ugaritic seemed to work well. No seriously, you tell me lies, i rearrange those lies to fit my narrative in order to put me ahead of your lies. What else should i do? I am the centrepoint kid after all.........
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Matchbox 20/20
So yeah. The hilarity. In my pre-awakening hallucinations this morning i got a classic "ninth layer of hell"-scarystory. Cool enough. Right now i swerved past my match.com account. Which has had exactly 666 visitors today. Luvely!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Things of note, in a note.
So yeah. The going is getting hectic. Which is very amusing.
As of right now i a m watching glibc run through its test suite, which means i am well on my way to a first "monkey has his hands held through an introduction to linux"-course. Which is kind of fun. Even though i feel like i am walking through the commands and the programs like Ronal Reagan going "Hello sonny, what`s your name". Not mush to be done about that except more practice. But i am seriously overcharging my brain these days. Luckily i can allow myself to, since my diet and exercise regimen is pretty solid these days. Waking up at six in the morning is 1-2 hours too late, but i will need another week or to before i am capable of stretching my days from 0500 to 2145. Managing to do that on a regular basis will be quite enjoyable.
Other than that i`m busy with school, and i`m about to be ambushed by the latest issue of AmSci, where it appears i`ll have my relation to my current curriculum altered, meaning it`ll be even more difficult to memorize information to pass exams.
Oh well, i`m used to that happening!
Swimming is still fun, and i`m still going to lie a little in order to stay at least partly functional. Just thought i`d point that out. I have apparently done so to my self. We shall see, haven`t ripped off enough rich people for it to matter yet. Except in the eyes of my self and the unfolding universe, and hehehe, what ever is that anyway?
As of right now i a m watching glibc run through its test suite, which means i am well on my way to a first "monkey has his hands held through an introduction to linux"-course. Which is kind of fun. Even though i feel like i am walking through the commands and the programs like Ronal Reagan going "Hello sonny, what`s your name". Not mush to be done about that except more practice. But i am seriously overcharging my brain these days. Luckily i can allow myself to, since my diet and exercise regimen is pretty solid these days. Waking up at six in the morning is 1-2 hours too late, but i will need another week or to before i am capable of stretching my days from 0500 to 2145. Managing to do that on a regular basis will be quite enjoyable.
Other than that i`m busy with school, and i`m about to be ambushed by the latest issue of AmSci, where it appears i`ll have my relation to my current curriculum altered, meaning it`ll be even more difficult to memorize information to pass exams.
Oh well, i`m used to that happening!
Swimming is still fun, and i`m still going to lie a little in order to stay at least partly functional. Just thought i`d point that out. I have apparently done so to my self. We shall see, haven`t ripped off enough rich people for it to matter yet. Except in the eyes of my self and the unfolding universe, and hehehe, what ever is that anyway?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Galimathias
So, i just finished Josephson`s "Galimathias". It was a great book, and i wish it never ended. More dadaist? poetry/contemplations should be sought out and enjoyed.
A classic experience of "oh, that`s actually possible as well". Those are always nice.
But now i should probably get back to "The Robber Barons".
A classic experience of "oh, that`s actually possible as well". Those are always nice.
But now i should probably get back to "The Robber Barons".
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Paging Strogatz
Yeah. So, i just started on the last 100 pages of "The System of the World". And ten minutes after putting the book down i decided to rummage around and found a review of by A. R. Ammons in a Harper`s from the seventies. Which led to me finding a book review dealing with a Muriel Rukeysers semi-novelistic treatment of Thomas Hariot in "The Traces of Thomas Hariot". So now i know where i can go if i want to continue my explorations of the world of british science and intrigue.
Funny it should appear just like that, though..... *da da DUM*
And then i won`t spend too much time over-analyzing James Marcus, though i should.
Thanks to Ferneyhough for pointing me in Ammons direction.
Funny it should appear just like that, though..... *da da DUM*
And then i won`t spend too much time over-analyzing James Marcus, though i should.
Thanks to Ferneyhough for pointing me in Ammons direction.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
yeah
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i mean it
i mean it
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Warghle.
I`m apathetic again. It`s as if all will to actually do anything has been drained from me and i want to just float through the rest of the day as a spectral haunt. I can`t do that, unfortunately. I`m not good enough at goading myself on. I will be someday. GODDAMN IT I HATE THESE POSITIVE ASSERTIONS. Even though they are preferable to complete resignation to the world as is.
So yeah. All quiet in my axis mundi. Solipsism always included.
Chatter along
word interspersed with movement
body, fluidity representation
must be a big word
or a small body
So yeah. All quiet in my axis mundi. Solipsism always included.
Chatter along
word interspersed with movement
body, fluidity representation
must be a big word
or a small body
Forglemmelig
Ta.
Så glemte jeg altså at denne siden eksisterte i noen dager. Det er jo helt greit egentlig. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
Jepp, jeg -er- vittig jeg. Nok om det.
Uansett. Jump 225 viser seg å være dårlig forkledt fantasy. Jeg brukte hele ti minutter på å gi opp bok 2. Multireal-konseptet fra bok 1 er underholdende, og jeg lurer fremdeles på hvordan virkeligheten klarer å få oss alle til åå bli truffet av en baseball, men forfatteren gjør rett og slett ikke nok med hvilke ramifikasjoner det å kontemplere/relatere til dette vil føre til. Les Capacity i stedet så får du en bedre, mer nervepirrende, og mer undrende opplevelse. Men selvfølgelig, hvis du vil ha Harry Potter LXXXI "I can`t belive it isn`t magic" så er Jump 225 artig den. Men jeg forventet bedre. Bedre lykke neste gang Edelman.
Spørsmålet er hva gjør jeg nå? Leser ferdig "By Love Possessed"? Det frister faktisk litt. Nei forresten, jeg prøver meg på "Dancer`s Illusion" og ser om den kanskje har noe å by på, jeg er litt skeptisk. Også kan jeg lese ferdig "Wolfsbane" etterpå. Intet er så galt at det ikke kan fikses ved å meditere litt over konnektivitet.
Så glemte jeg altså at denne siden eksisterte i noen dager. Det er jo helt greit egentlig. Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
Jepp, jeg -er- vittig jeg. Nok om det.
Uansett. Jump 225 viser seg å være dårlig forkledt fantasy. Jeg brukte hele ti minutter på å gi opp bok 2. Multireal-konseptet fra bok 1 er underholdende, og jeg lurer fremdeles på hvordan virkeligheten klarer å få oss alle til åå bli truffet av en baseball, men forfatteren gjør rett og slett ikke nok med hvilke ramifikasjoner det å kontemplere/relatere til dette vil føre til. Les Capacity i stedet så får du en bedre, mer nervepirrende, og mer undrende opplevelse. Men selvfølgelig, hvis du vil ha Harry Potter LXXXI "I can`t belive it isn`t magic" så er Jump 225 artig den. Men jeg forventet bedre. Bedre lykke neste gang Edelman.
Spørsmålet er hva gjør jeg nå? Leser ferdig "By Love Possessed"? Det frister faktisk litt. Nei forresten, jeg prøver meg på "Dancer`s Illusion" og ser om den kanskje har noe å by på, jeg er litt skeptisk. Også kan jeg lese ferdig "Wolfsbane" etterpå. Intet er så galt at det ikke kan fikses ved å meditere litt over konnektivitet.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Multireal
The story so far. I`m in chapter 4 of "Infoquake". An enjoyable romp through relations to reality and the potentialities within. It hasn`t got the panicky edge of "Capacity" though, and that makes its appeal lessen a little.
Natch is not for naught though! I really enjoy some parts. But whilst "Capacity" had me angry, scared and curious "Infoquake reads more like a technological band-aid for fantasy-readers than the conspiratorial science fiction novel i would have liked it to be. Fair enough. Let`s hope it doesn`t delve too far down into car chases in parts two and three, then i`d be saddened. If he manages to convey the impact of Multireal and the ways in which beings relate to such a concept then this might still be -very- enjoyable. Or it might vanish in a sea of "and then he cast uber-haxor 2.14 at the bad guy". Oh i hope i`m wrong about that.
Natch is not for naught though! I really enjoy some parts. But whilst "Capacity" had me angry, scared and curious "Infoquake reads more like a technological band-aid for fantasy-readers than the conspiratorial science fiction novel i would have liked it to be. Fair enough. Let`s hope it doesn`t delve too far down into car chases in parts two and three, then i`d be saddened. If he manages to convey the impact of Multireal and the ways in which beings relate to such a concept then this might still be -very- enjoyable. Or it might vanish in a sea of "and then he cast uber-haxor 2.14 at the bad guy". Oh i hope i`m wrong about that.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Welcome back!
In the history of interesting narrational overlaps, might we present to you the joys of reading the 3rd "Order Of the Stick" and coming across the ending in the movie "Vanilla Sky" less than forty eight hours afterwards? Yeah sure. Good fun!
Reality has issues. But don`t worry, it intends to keep them.
Reality has issues. But don`t worry, it intends to keep them.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Quake!
So yeah. I finally got the Jump 225 trilogy.
Funnily enough the name of the first book is "Infoquake". And the first article i read after starting the book was "Spectator at the Disaster" by John Dvorak in the latest American Scientist.
That article was wearing some pretty rugged mountain boots.
Back to Edelman. That book is pure candy!
Funnily enough the name of the first book is "Infoquake". And the first article i read after starting the book was "Spectator at the Disaster" by John Dvorak in the latest American Scientist.
That article was wearing some pretty rugged mountain boots.
Back to Edelman. That book is pure candy!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Nyttår.
Hahahah, for første gang siden jeg var ti eller noe slikt gikk jeg og la meg før klokken tolv på nyttårsaften. Noe som føltes helt kult. Greit å bli voksen!
Jeg våknet klokken tolv, og oppdaget da at lyden av eksplosjoner overalt er veldig opphissende. Greit å vite, siden det gir meg en grunn til å reise steder hvor store fyrverkeritilstelninger finner sted. Også vet jeg -hva- jeg må gjøre under oppskytningsperioden. (Hint: det involverer -ikke- å stå i en folkemengde, go figure!)
Så da begynner jeg altså det nye året med å stå opp klokken syv om morgenen. For å sovne igjen utelukkende av ren latskap. (Og fordi jeg er for glad i mine drømmer). Mye morsomt stoff å pusle med i drømmene i dag morges. Jeg er -litt- brydd over hjernen/verdens kapasitet til å være en så dyktig historieforteller i rommene våre drømmer er skapt av. Definer det som en delvis styrbar individbasert ubevisst prosess eller definer det som noe helt annet, til tider er det merkelig å bevitne, og hvis du ikke mener det synes jeg du er litt merkelig. (Forutsatt at du ikke har en fullgod konseptuell/materiell-bakgrunn for å ha avmystifisert det, som jeg i så fall gjerne ville ha hørt. (At vi tidvis ikke har RÅD til å fokusere på slikt er noe -helt- annet.)
Jeg har bestemt meg for å begynne året med litt netlabel-whoring. Så nå blir det noen dager med musikk av varierende kvalitet her. Ellers bør jeg vel bevege meg til biblioteket en av de nærmeste dagene og få hentet litt knask sånn at jeg har noe å gjøre på. Kom aldri helt av gårde med Beethoven, men nå må jeg egentlig bare slette alt som ligger på iPoden og hente noen nye saker. Bra kveld, litt ideology, litt kahvi, litt laverna. KOZ!
Nå er det på tide å få tittet litt i "The Robber Barons" av Matthew Josephson. En bok jeg fant på loftet som jeg aldri hadde sett på mine tidlige ferder der oppe. Eller ihvertfall ikke registrert som ønsket av meg tidligere. Morsomt det. Den kommer sikkert til å komplementere "Jump 225" av (som kommer i posten om noen dager!) nokså bra. Altså en energisk start på det nye året med sikt mot lovens og menneskehetens gråsoner.
Dessuten har Matthew Josephson skrevet en diktsamling kalt "Galimathias". Etter et dikt må jeg kunne si at det ser lovende ut. Akkurat det jeg trengte, begynner å bli litt lei av poetryfoundation.org sin "random" funksjon.
Jeg våknet klokken tolv, og oppdaget da at lyden av eksplosjoner overalt er veldig opphissende. Greit å vite, siden det gir meg en grunn til å reise steder hvor store fyrverkeritilstelninger finner sted. Også vet jeg -hva- jeg må gjøre under oppskytningsperioden. (Hint: det involverer -ikke- å stå i en folkemengde, go figure!)
Så da begynner jeg altså det nye året med å stå opp klokken syv om morgenen. For å sovne igjen utelukkende av ren latskap. (Og fordi jeg er for glad i mine drømmer). Mye morsomt stoff å pusle med i drømmene i dag morges. Jeg er -litt- brydd over hjernen/verdens kapasitet til å være en så dyktig historieforteller i rommene våre drømmer er skapt av. Definer det som en delvis styrbar individbasert ubevisst prosess eller definer det som noe helt annet, til tider er det merkelig å bevitne, og hvis du ikke mener det synes jeg du er litt merkelig. (Forutsatt at du ikke har en fullgod konseptuell/materiell-bakgrunn for å ha avmystifisert det, som jeg i så fall gjerne ville ha hørt. (At vi tidvis ikke har RÅD til å fokusere på slikt er noe -helt- annet.)
Jeg har bestemt meg for å begynne året med litt netlabel-whoring. Så nå blir det noen dager med musikk av varierende kvalitet her. Ellers bør jeg vel bevege meg til biblioteket en av de nærmeste dagene og få hentet litt knask sånn at jeg har noe å gjøre på. Kom aldri helt av gårde med Beethoven, men nå må jeg egentlig bare slette alt som ligger på iPoden og hente noen nye saker. Bra kveld, litt ideology, litt kahvi, litt laverna. KOZ!
Nå er det på tide å få tittet litt i "The Robber Barons" av Matthew Josephson. En bok jeg fant på loftet som jeg aldri hadde sett på mine tidlige ferder der oppe. Eller ihvertfall ikke registrert som ønsket av meg tidligere. Morsomt det. Den kommer sikkert til å komplementere "Jump 225" av (som kommer i posten om noen dager!) nokså bra. Altså en energisk start på det nye året med sikt mot lovens og menneskehetens gråsoner.
Dessuten har Matthew Josephson skrevet en diktsamling kalt "Galimathias". Etter et dikt må jeg kunne si at det ser lovende ut. Akkurat det jeg trengte, begynner å bli litt lei av poetryfoundation.org sin "random" funksjon.
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