NO honestly. It isn`t. BOuts of depression are their own story, which i seem to focus on in here a little too often.
Which is something i should attempt to alter. So my neurochemistry has allowed me a new ride on the optimism-gravytrain. Make no mistake, i`m still somewhat troubled by lot`s of harrowing (all of it not in Harrowstone), but there are potentials to be grasped in myself, my vincinity, society, and reality (which is still at large, (and pretty god-dawm Huge!)) So, i could focus on that for a change.
The easy street would be to get a job looking after kids in a kindergarden, or at least a gig as a temp in a kindergarden. THe job is interesting, relatively easy (dependent upon colleagues and structural rigour of course), and would probably keep me happy and with an okay revenue stream in the short to medium term.
The medium to long term is still whirling around even more attempts at broadening my knowledge of academical fields i can find some use for (all) and narrowing them down to what i can do without kow-towing to the local repository of theories and viewpoints. Which means the sciences. WHich first and foremost means getting a chemistry set, a new computer to work on Linux From Scratch and TECS on (erm, yeah, still comfortably locked in a Lain-run here! =)) and whichever books high school currently uses for maths, chemistry and physics. Won`t hurt, and i`m still going to do it pretty slow, which means that i lack the drive to force myself to work on it except when everything is going really well. That`s my bane, i`m afraid, but i`m also terribly fond of not rushing things. People who need to get a lot done immediately unnerve me. (Mostly because i know how i am when i come into contact with my own impatient sides, but alas.)
Other than that. I should spend less time on the slot-machine known as internet news. Shame on me. I like to look at my log of the last four years of headlines and articles read, but it scares me how much of this i completely forget to take into account when i make up my mind about topics. I guess i`m starting to learn the difference between a dilletante and a professional. (That took its time!) It`s a nice slot machine, and it teaches me if nothing else to enjoy quality in reporting, and the lively and intelligent debate which one occasionally encounters on varioslashus websites. But that`s okay.
And i have to keep swimming, keep eating the sardines, get back on the workout-routine, do regular saunas (oh my god it`s going to be closed until september, how will i survive???), do more prep-work for our roleplaying games (hope nobody got too upset over my little outburst over the rhetorical flair at display in our sessions.) and generally try to not annoy family members unneccessarily. (Since i am, for all purposes, pretty dependent upon their continued good will. (Which i seem pretty close to have squandered, we`ll see.) (I am way too fond of pushing boundaries.) But it should also be said that when i have a week to relax before going off on a painting job i would like to spend it in what position i want when i want and not be held up to the strictures of ordinary family life. My vacation, my time, my ways. Seriously!
Hellopatrickswayze.
Total Carnage!
Poor Ricky Fish.
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