Randy dandy

Rowdy and dandy, would probably be a better description. So, interview in another ten hours, and i won`t be able to get much sleep. Well, South Park is here to help.

Last night was as usual kind of troublesome. It`s all right though, my capacity for mental expression was somewhat present. But it`s a strain to walk straight under the ever-watchful "eyes" of whatever manages to present me with fragments of responses to my every thought. Shouldn`t think that possible, and would like to know the mechanics of it. (As usual.) But it is pretty sweet when everything flows in a gainful manner, which it occasionally does. Seriously, meeting fragments of other people`s consciousness-structures and having to interact with them everytime i lay down in bed to sleep is pretty intense.
So anyway, makes me wonder what other people swerve through in their mental spaces. Still somewhat annoying though. I pretty much retracted myself from social spaces six years ago, since i considered myself to be to much of a nuisance. Which only led to me moving around in mental landscapes where my every expression of thought was considered bothersome.
So what really happened here? Reality kind of snuck up to me like that. Or some aspect of reality. With which i am not currently familiar. Oh well, to the best of my knowledge it`s a wholly subjective experience not overlapping with the experiences of consciousness and being of the people with whom i continually overlap in my head. At least that`s what i`ve been told in my more confrontational moments. But of course, i also know how overwhelming the expressions trying to cow experiencers into silence can be. Something which i never really fell for (ok at times i did, and continue to do), but i tried to out-argue the expressions which tried to bind me to silence in all of this. (Which means that i spend way too much time writing about it! Yeah, i`m stupid like that.) Now all i have to do is outdo whichever cowing capacities this experience has and manage to get ahold of the infrastructure and social space around me where such and other explorations of the makings of society, the sciences and reality is possible. Should be easy! =) Or maybe it`ll be hellishly difficult.

But oh i remember the sweet experience of flying low over american air defenses and landing for a hallucinatory extravaganza with ambiguous command and authority structures. And it was there. Makes me wonder. But so does all else reality has to offer. (It`s a silly notion of humans, to view that which is considered to be supernormal/abnormal as necessarily more attuned to realities of a greater nature than everyday experience.) I appreciate it, but i`m not particularly convinced of the truthfulness of anything i experience in purely mental realms. If i did that i`d be a total goner by now!
So, interested, but not beholden. But hey, everybody needs a hobby, and i forgot to make a proper 419-scam letter so i can`t make my money that way.