Night maneuvers.

Aaaaaah, HOME!

So, first night at Tysnes. And was there not to be expected the usual interactive hallucinatory tour. Oh yes there was.
The evening started all right, some talk with mom, a screwup of known proportions on facebook , half a beer and lots of heart.

Followed by "Der Kaiser von Atlantis" and an attempt to fall asleep. Which succeeded!! So far so good. Having spent some years in that bed i have to say that a night where i actually -get- -to- -fall- -asleep- is a good thing indeed. I have spent one too many a night outside at five thirty in the morning smoking cigarettes and drinking juice whilst trying to retain calm in the face of visual and auditory hallucinations. To get to enjoy falling asleep in it, (for it is a good bed), is a treat. Much larger than my regular bed nowadays, lots of light and nice books littered all over the place. As it should be.

Alas, the first hijink was that i awoke at approximately three o clock in the night. This being, after all, way too early, and me being, after all, of the sort that is quite insistent of things such as proper time to sleep, caused the usual desire not to engage with any media stimuli such as books, music or my computer. To not want any stimuli is my usual desire under such circumstances and it is of course somewhat self-defeating. (Though it would not have given me the opportunity to write this today, mind you!) So, as the brain has wont to do, it makes something up. Now pray tell thee, the brain is after all the apparatus which has managed to create all these various apparatuses, languages and pictures we use to describe everything, so it is, by all accounts, the wilyest instrument devised by material reality and quite the thingmahjing, as is the term in learned circles.

Now, me being as i am, "A Young Man Up to All Amounts of No Particular Good" And me being of the wants and desires that i am, sensual, explorative and mutually constructive. Have found these terrains to be quite extraordinary and also quite scary in the past. My brain is not so as to have fared through the seas of five years of solitude in the sensual and romantic spheres without having developed some rather problematic deficiencies in its capacity to belive in its power to actually present enjoyable and elucidating imagery and words. For this sphere, as all other spheres of human activity, require a certain amount of capacity in order to get gainful results. I have occasionally been -very- incapable of producing these results and that usually causes no end of grief anger and self-defeatism. To get to flounder through these interactions in such a friendly manner as tonight was therefore a pleasant surprise.

Now, what always surprises me is the competitive properties of these spaces. It is at times unnerving to see which characters play themselves out against each other and how aspects of me try to play myself out in relation to that again. It`s especially unnerving when an interaction is occuring with one "person/figment/whateverthethingmahjingis" and the constellations of being relative to one another become so apparent. (Yet in a manner deeply untrue. Getting to spend sensous nights with women one has always been deeply infatuated in is best -not- indulged in if one ends up believing it to be an accurate portrayal of real relations.) (To at times wonder about the mechanics of the universe that leads up to such capacities, and wondering how they somehow mark the flow of internal and external events is another matter entirely, the brainbodymatterconsciousnessglobalizationinternetquestion is still somewhat open, this is an unfolding system which has created itself for christsakes, it has some tricks!)
So, tonight was okay, a lot of sensousness, some anguish, some gentle and playful jousting for positioning in relation to beings of desire, the military guest appearance, some costumes, and some unnecessary heckling. Difficult to maneuver if you`re 26, unemployed, broke, and somewhat troubled by your future possibilities. Comfortable when you manage to maneuver though. (Or when it maneuvers your inner visual/auditory patterns, it`s easy to keep track of which is which.)

So, that is why i on most nights put Hegre-Art massage videos on infinite loop. So that i have something to watch when i wake up and don`t want to wade through my brain.

Traffic analysis is still fun. Analysing the traffic patterns of my own brain, yes quite.